Misanthropical Lycanthrope

...ITS BETTER TO BE HATED FOR WHO YOU ARE THAN TO BE LOVED FOR WHO YOU ARE NOT. I am a dynamic figure, often seen eating mashed potatoes or looking for a few, hard-to-find Henry Rollins books to finish my collection. I have been known to visit libraries on weekdays, where I single-handedly transfer all the copies of bibles from the reference section, to the fiction section. I color outside the lines, run with scissors and never obey the speed limit. I write award-winning commentaries. I think Tom Cruise, Kirk Cameron and Norman Bates all have the same mother. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I pride myself in knowing the difference between bear and bare – I like bare better. I can cook 30 minute brownies in just under 20. I have counted to infinity twice. I am an expert in sarcasm, a veteran in denial, and an outlaw in Idaho. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless necrophiliac.