just there

He told me one last story. He used his aged, ruined voice like an old man’s hands to pick the lock on his past.

The heavy rain beating violently against the glass window was not the only thing that prevented me from hearing him clearly. It was a strain to lean forward, towards the hospital bed as he spoke through the oxygen mask. Despite the late hour, he had called for me to his side and this could only mean that he was certain he could not get through the night.

My hatred for him seemed to have vaporized when I peered into his sad eyes which mirrored my own sorrow. After all, he was my uncle and only remaining relative alive .I should carry out his dying wish in return for the years I took refuge at his home.

“I apologise for the way I have treated you in the past,” He said, before he turned his face away from me. I wasn’t prepared to forgive him until I saw a tear appear at the corner of his eye and roll down his cheek. Unable to see a dying man so tormented, I said” Uncle Jerry, please don’t cry, I understand you had to be harsh with me and I forgive you.”

Much to my surprise, he grabbed my wrist and with such determination in his voice he cried,” you don’t understand! Your boyfriend did not choose money over you. It was I who prevented him from meeting you. You can’t marry a lowly guy like him.”Too shocked for words, I could only shake my head in denial as my lower lip began quivering and tears gathered blurring my vision. I tried to pry myself from his grasp as he continued to stare into my eyes. His glace was cold and it seemed to draw the life force out of me and convert it into his strength.

I wanted very much to run away .Now I had more reason to hate him. In a final attempt, I managed to break free from his clutches but tripped over a wire before crashing to the ground.

He stretched his bony hand in my direction and I desperately backed up against the wall trying my best to increase the distance between the two of us. His breathing grew heavy and his chest rose and fell rapidly then his eyes rolled backward until only the whites could be seen. Froth was emerging from his mouth and his body jerked sporadically .All at once, he suddenly laid still.

“Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep...!”The machine produced a piercing continuous sound and a green line flashed across its screen .I inserted the plug back into the socket and the oxygen levels jumped from zero back to an eighty percent.

Nurses and doctors flocked to the scene. Someone guided me out of the room and said something in a soothing voice similar to my mother’s when she tried to comfort me every time I awoke from nightmares.

I had everything: Wealth, happiness, the love of my life and a loving family. Until that fateful day, of my parents’ death when he robbed me of all I had. In spite of his vicious deeds, everyone thought it was kind of him to look after a poor orphan .He was a mastery of trickery and had managed to deceive everyone. Soon, he grew accustomed to the power and dominance over people that wealth had given him and claimed full dictatorship over my every move.

When his mood was sour or I happened to make a silly mistake, I had to be “disciplined” with a cane. The marks from the wounds he had inflicted upon me still remain even though years had passed.

Now I no longer have to fear him for he is gone forever. Should I feel guilty for what has happen? Was he suffering all these years because he regretted his actions? Looking back, I do recall certain times when he seemed to show real concern for my wellbeing. I know I hate him but why do I feel the similar sensation of the pain of losing someone dear to me. Watching him lie motionless on the hospital bed, I came to a shocking realisation. I had loved him, treated him as a substitute for my dad and he in turn had cared for me but expressed his feelings in a twisted way.

How was I to tell him I am sorry when his soul has already departed for the other world? If only this discovery had been made earlier...

Does anyone know which anime or manga this picture which, (i use as my display picture) ,comes from?

I’m on the roof of a thirty story building,surrounded by empty bottles of beer and a whole bunch of people watching me anxiously.I got up and walked towards the edge of the roof;the wind blew through my hair and whirstled in my ears.Never once had i ever felt so void of worries and so peaceful at heart.

Tears fill my eyes and blurred my vision.I start feeling all warm inside and for the first time in 10 years, i smiled.I’m balancing on the side of the building,concentrating on placing one foot in front of the other and moving forward.On my left,there’s the view of the city from 50feet up.Everything below seem so small yet beautiful the lights look like fireflies of different colours.....to my right,i see the source of my hatred ,people of different colours, different races and religions but they all add up to one thing .....hypocrisy.

“cough....,cough!” I remove my hand from my mouth as i felt a wet and sticky substance on my palm.It was of such rich colour of red,my favourite colour.I giggled and my throat hurt.I guess i’m ready to go,i can’t wait anymore.My illness is already promting me.I take one last look at the crowd.My eyes scan through it and every thing started moving in slow motion.I spread my arms out wide,like an eagle soaring.My blood dripped from my hand onto the floor”drip..drip..drip..”

Gravity slowly dragged my body towards the earth and i began tilting ,falling over ....then,someone emerged from the door leading to the roof with a bang and ran towards me with hands outstretched.I was getting further from that famillar face i was waiting to see but i could still see him there,bending over the edge with tears in his eyes,shouting something hardly audible,people restraining him .......

Now,my final wish is fufilled, i can go in peace. I close my eyes.My tears falling along side me,the conners at the sides of my mouth continue remainding in an upward position; Icontinue smiling.As i recall the few happy memories i had with him,my only kin,my brother.The time when we first met,the time when he brought me out of the hospital ,when he was with me during treatment and finally the last happy memory he has given me before i go.

“Thud!”,i landed. Blood quickly gathered into a pool around me .No,not arround me but my 17year old body.My spirit is now free to roam where it please,freedom at last.A weightless form rising up towards a place where all souls go after death.

I’m on the roof of a thirty story building,surrounded by empty bottles of beer and a whole bunch of people watching me anxiously.I got up and walked towards the edge of the roof;the wind blew through my hair and whirstled in my ears.Never once had i ever felt so void of worries and so peaceful at heart.

Tears fill my eyes and blurred my vision.I start feeling all warm inside and for the first time in 10 years, i smiled.I’m balancing on the side of the building,concentrating on placing one foot in front of the other and moving forward.On my left,there’s the view of the city from 50feet up.Everything below seem so small yet beautiful the lights look like fireflies of different colours.....to my right,i see the source of my hatred ,people of different colours, different races and religions but they all add up to one thing .....hypocrisy.

“cough....,cough!” I remove my hand from my mouth as i felt a wet and sticky substance on my palm.It was of such rich colour of red,my favourite colour.I giggled and my throat hurt.I guess i’m ready to go,i can’t wait anymore.My illness is already promting me.I take one last look at the crowd.My eyes scan through it and every thing started moving in slow motion.I spread my arms out wide,like an eagle soaring.My blood dripped from my hand onto the floor”drip..drip..drip..”

Gravity slowly dragged my body towards the earth and i began tilting ,falling over ....then,someone emerged from the door leading to the roof with a bang and ran towards me with hands outstretched.I was getting further from that famillar face i was waiting to see but i could still see him there,bending over the edge with tears in his eyes,shouting something hardly audible,people restraining him .......

Now,my final wish is fufilled, i can go in peace. I close my eyes.My tears falling along side me,the conners at the sides of my mouth continue remainding in an upward position; Icontinue smiling.As i recall the few happy membories i had with him,my only kin,my brother.The time when we first met,the time when he brought me out of the hospital ,when he was with me during treatment and finally the last happy memory he has given me before i go.

“Thud!”,i landed. Blood quickly gathered into a pool around me .No,not arround me but my 17year old body.My spirit is now free to roam where it please,freedom at last.A weightless form rising up towards a place where all souls go after death.

I'm captivated by the chorus song of St. Luminous Mission High School .Its both eerie and mysterious but i like it.However,i can't find any site to download this piece of music.Can anyone help?If you want to listen to it, go to ( http://www.crunchyroll.com/showmedia?id=5854 ).

er........if its possible,can you make sure that when the file is downloaded,its compactable with mac.computers?

Does anyone know where i can watch free Air gear anime online[with english subtitles] .I know that they removed it from youtube and i don't want to watch it on anime fever or http://animeepisodes.net/anime/Air_Gear.html (cos i have watched the episodes on this web

side).Besides,

www.dailymotion.com,

www.vidilife.com,

www.gofish.com and

www.crunchyroll.com either don't have the episodes or its in some other langage.

Secondly,If you find out where i can read variante online,please tell me!

Thanks alot ! :)