Baby #2 11-17

I've been married for few years. However, my husband mentally cheated on me last year with a co-worker online (she worked oversea). Things were bad for awhile, for my son, I faught to keep our marriage. Things are back to normal. However, I can't trust my husband nor should I trust him. I found him search his ex-wife on the internal also looked up escort service on Craiglist. There's another guy who I never dated but we did just about everything a bf/gf would do in college except holding hands/kissing/sex. He's a total gentleman and almost everything I wanted. I let the chance slipped away. Now 10+ years later, I found that I still have the same feeling toward him, if not stronger. He's never married nor have a girlfriend. I believe he also has some feeling remain for me. But I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should live in the pretend happiness so my son would have a perfect family when he grows up or should I go with my guts and gamble to see if the college sweetheart really is what I wanted. What should I do?

I had a dream last night about a wedding. It's like a group wedding. In the wedding, my husband and I are getting married, my brother and his wife, and my cousin and her husband. I can't remember who were the 4th couple. But supposedly we were all getting married in the same wedding night with our family and friends present. The setting is like in a big sparkling pretty white tent. I remember first was my brother and his wife did the dance then my cousin and her husband. When it's my turn, the DJ stop playing and they said we are short on time, we have to move on to something else. In real life, we never had a dance since our wedding is not the traditional American one. Somehow the dream changed to a small bathroom, when we opened the door, there were small stuff all over the places then I woke up. I am just wondering if this is a good dream or a bad dream.