Chloe G

I am doing a creative writing project for my Literature class. My project is an analysis of the treatment of individualism in the novella "Anthem," and consequently I'm writing a piece that should be read as a dystopian story.

This is the beginning:

---

Light.

She squints in a desperate attempt to get her bearings.

The world finally focuses, but it’s hardly better than the blinding light. Everything is white. Shadows and corners wash out in the harsh glare; the room seems endless, inescapable. If she couldn’t feel the floor beneath her feet she’d have a difficult time believing that there even was one.

She is bound to a chair. She knows this even though she cannot look down to check. The ropes are biting into her skin; her hands are cold. She imagines them turning purple and the thought allows her to slow her breathing. The drumbeat in her ears decrescendos, mezzo forte rather than fortissimo.

Movement out of the corner of her eye, and then a colorless man with a colorless clipboard comes to a halt in front of her. He leans forward.

“Alethea 4242.” His voice is sharp, words clipped. Alethea flinches away from the shards of sound. Her head hurts.

“Where am I?” she asks. A hint of panic colors her tone, but it shrivels in the endless white void.

“You are being brought to justice.” Annoyance surges up through her diaphragm to swirl dangerously in her chest. He didn’t answer her question.

--

Is this a good beginning? I'm not sure whether it's compelling or if the 'hostage in a white room' trope is too tired to allow for a good start to the story. Additionally, I'm not sure whether the color imagery is effective or just stupid and cliched. I'm planning to use color as a motif; color represents the individualism that Alethea champions through her otherness, while colorlessness represents the oppression of the totalitarian collectivist society in which she lives. (Music terminology may also be used, or it may be edited out.) Are these motifs too obvious or does their clarity add to the reading experience?

Additionally, how is the style in this excerpt? I'm trying for something that feels a little bit like stream of consciousness, but with more clarity. Does it work? And is the writing itself actually good? I know that it's a little abrupt, and I'm hoping to work that out in editing. (Any suggestions as to how I could do that would be much appreciated, though.)

I'm incredibly nervous about this story; I really enjoy writing, but I'm a perfectionist and I want anything that will be read by someone that I actually know to be as good as I can make it. And if I can't make it really good, then I want to know so that I can stick with a straightforward analysis and scrap my creative story.

Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to answer my question and either confirm or put to rest my paranoid fears. Your feedback means a lot to me.

J'ai lu ce livre de Sijie en anglais et je l'aime beaucoup. Je veux le lire en français parce-que je suis une étudiante de la langue. Mais parce-que j'habite aux États-Unis, je ne peux pas acheter un livre actuel devant Noël. Est-ce qu'il y a un "EBook" que je peux acheter à L'Internet?

Merci beaucoup, et je suis desolée si il y a quelques erreurs de grammaire et vocabulaire ici.

I'm considering going to college for dance, and I have a couple of questions about dance colleges.

First, what schools have excellent programs in both ballet and modern? I'm not likely to go into a career in ballet, but I want to continue my training at a high level as I find it helps my modern technique. Schools which place equal emphasis on both ballet and modern will be at the top of my list, but I'd still consider a school which emphasizes modern technique, as long as ballet classes were still offered.

Second, which schools have a history of alumni in the professional dance world? Most schools that I'm looking at neglect to list notable dance alumni, and it's difficult to rate the likelihood of getting a performing career once I graduate from those schools. (I do understand that getting a career is up to me, and that no school can guarantee me a professional career. However, I think that a school that has a lot of graduates who go into professional dance performance is generally a better place to attend as an aspiring performer than one which only a few go into professional dance performance)

Third, which schools have great dance programs and great academics as well? Even though I intend to major in dance and pursue a career in dance performance, I want to go to a school which offers strong academics because I love to learn and want an opportunity to continue my academic education beyond high school. Also, if extenuating circumstances prevent me from having a career in dance, I don't want to have nothing to fall back on.

Fourth- I know that a BFA program is preferable considering that I want to pursue a professional career as a performer, but are there schools that offer just a BA which have an excellent reputation as well?

At this point, I really have no idea where I want to apply next year- I have a very long list of prospects. Insight to which are the best colleges to go to for dance and which ones aren't, even though they present a promising image would be most helpful.

I've been dancing seriously for some years, and I'm looking at colleges now. I'm trying to decide between ones which are just for dance, and ones which have academics as well, because I'm also a very good student and would like to maybe have a backup. If you're pursuing a BFA in dance, can you double major in something else? I've heard you can't, and if that's the case, I probably would be less likely to bother with the academics.

This summer, from late June to early to mid July, I'm going to be in Welfleet Mass. Right after that I'm going to my three week ballet intensive in New York, so I want to stay in shape. I'm 14, I've been dancing for about 5 years and I've been en pointe for 3 of them. I'm at the intermediate/advanced or beginning-advanced level and I'm looking for a set of drop-in classes. Does anyone have any ideas?

I am 14 years old, I study classical ballet 3-5 times (4-6 classes) a week, and I've gone through nine or ten pairs of pointe shoes. I recently bought a pair of Chacott's Veronese II's and they looked great on my feet-- until they died less than a month later. They weren't the most comfortable shoe, being made for a beginning dancer rather than a more advanced one. I was wondering whether anyone knew of any shoes that were similar to the Veronese II but would last longer and offer better support for an intermediate level dancer. (Once again, I am fourteen, I've been doing pointe since I was twelve, my feet are of average strength and flexibility, and I take ballet three to five days a week, going on pointe somewhere between a half an hour and and hour and a half when I do.)

What part of an amino acid can sometimes act as an acid? I need to know for my exam on Monday, or I will epically fail. Or at least on that question...

I'm looking for the adress of Walnut Hill School for the Arts. I know that it is somewhere in or near connecticut, and would appreciate if anyone who knows where it is could supply its adress.