Khatoon Hazara1998

Can you inhale them? 

What happens if you do?

i never really thought much

about it

i usually rush

into

everything

never stopped

to magnify

things a little more

as i wither

i might as well

rot

we're fighting

a losing battle

the other team

is smart smug

staring at us

knowing of our defeat

even before it happens

what is there to do

when the ashes

are on the floor

and my faith

has been torn apart

by the enemies

walking out the corners of my eyes

my heart

beats

as the sun passes by

time ticks

and i'm on my feet

running

away

far

from

this array

of darkness

that i feel

succumbed

on the floor

sprawled

a splatter of hope

and desire

i see you

far away and across the distance

you don't see me

you start to wonder

at that very moment

about me

and my whereabouts

and i see you

walking to and fro

trying to find me

my tear stains

as i'm walking

drip

drop onto the pavement

because i see you

and i never wanted to

Promises

are meant to be broken

Promises

i promise to be good

i promise to listen

i promise to love properly

i promise

...

i promise

i promise never to lie

i promise never to cry

i promise never to fill you with the hate you have now

i promise

therefore

i won't do any of these

but if promises weren't meant to be broken

...

but they are

so i won't say anything more

because words are empty

words are meaningless

to the way i feel

everyone is saying

how much of a pagan i've been

but i seek only to turn away from those who lie themselves silly

i haven't actually

practiced the craft

if only they'd seen what hell i've gone through

how my heart aches whenever love exits me

i feel

different

as if some other entity consumed me

about last night

i had a dream

of a past life

and it seemed

i needed a clearer focus

on what's in front of me

but

it seemed

also

in a past life

i did practice the craft

i wasn't a siren

i was only a lover

but everyone loved me

and i loved everyone

but the only person

on my mind at the time

was him

and i loved him

i did

but it seems now

love

is overrated

this feeling

now

is too strong

to call it love

encased

in veins and rusted gold

caskets

of roses and carcass bones

i walk along

this field of thorns

and wander

falling

to my knees

my bones snap

and break

failing me

all the hurt

that s been stored

here

in this

beating contraption

falls

and spills itself

on the thorny bristles

prodding me

poking my skin

cutting deep

into my humanity

losing

all sense of reality

i stare

relentlessly at the sky

recklessly loving

everything

everyone

and dying

for nothing

http://www.writerscafe.org/teetortotk