how to talk to my girlfriend's mother?

i am 28yrs with a good job and a good name.but marriage is till not an option in our early stage of our relationship.

i fell in love with a girl that her family is everything to her.and i want to respect that.. we have the same values and traditions

her mother is rejecting me because of her daughter's previous venture with a man ended with a illegitimate child and he ran away from her.. ended up with a bad rep among the society they live in..

in short.. this girl had suffered enough.. and i believe she is a good person who made a mistake.. do we all?.. that she should not be punished for life.neither her daughter

the only way i can see this girl is by directly proposing her for marriage -according to her mom-.. i really like this girl, and i do not want to break her heart by forcing her to choose either me or her family. i want her to have both

i am going to see her mom soon.. what should i say to her?

please do not just give an empty advice here to win 2 point

Anonymous2006-07-06T22:09:07Z

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You sound like a great guy. Any mother would wish a guy like you for her daughter. Sounds to me that the mother does not know you well enough. Take your time and just be yourself. Tell her how much you care for her daughter. If this woman has any sense at all, She will come to see that her daughter is lucky to have you. Try respecting her wishes, for a while anyway, until you win her over. If you don't win her over,This girl will probably choose to be with you with or without her mothers consent. At least you both have the respect to try. And remember, If all else fails, Screw what everyone else thinks and live YOUR lives! Be happy!! Good luck to you .

Anonymous2006-07-06T21:58:55Z

I think that you need to tell her mother how you feel about her daughter and what your plans are and your ambitions and just tell your what your goals are in life show her that you are a good person and you will treat her daughter with the respect she deserves and that you dont want to push her daughter into anything she isn't ready for. Tell her you understand she's made some mistakes but you can except them because she's only human. Just let her know whats on your mind.

psycmikev2006-07-06T21:59:30Z

Offer for someone to chaperon you on a few dates until the mother gets to know you a little better. While this may sound strange, it will give her mother peace of mind, and is quite normal in parts of the world, and will give you the chance to see her without marriage. Once you have shown respect and dignity you may find mom more open and willing to give you some leeway. If she turns your offer down, forget the girl unless you want mom controlling both your lives forever.

galgal2006-07-06T22:00:29Z

( I assumed that both of you are ready to get marriage and has already iron out the oddities ) Yes, proposing marriage is the option. See her mom with a good gift and sit down next to her and just sincerely tell her that you really want to marry her daughter and take care of her granddaughter. Be calm and honest and look sincere. To assure her, you can propose a date and how you guys want the wedding to be held. Cheers.

jai2006-07-06T21:59:59Z

Say that your gf means everything to you. Her and her daughter. But you don't feel that yalls relationship has reached that stage yet. That it would hurt her even more if you proposed and then it didnt work out. Neither of you are ready for marriage, and she can't change that. If she wants whats best for her daughter and granddaughter, she'll let things take their course. In the meantime, tell her you would never abandon your gf like that. You would never put her in that position. You love her.

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