I am having trouble with my boyfriends children, how to find a happy medium with him.?
My boyfriend and I dont parent the same way, he believes in talking till his eyes pop out. I am more of "this is what I say" dont queastion it. Recently they came for 2 weeks....and they took over the house, the rules I tried to enforce were underminded by their father....they flat out tell me they dont have to listen to me. The problem with that is my boyfriend works all day and I am the one left to deal with them. This is really putting a wedge between us. What should I do?
Christina2006-07-07T11:55:08Z
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well this is your house too and the rules aply when they rae here with you, if your hubby doesnt like it thn he needsto get a baby sitter when he is gone. you do things your way he does it his way but when your with them alone it should be your way and they should listen to you, althought i do have one bone to pick with you, you have the "because i said so syndrome". you want the kids to do something, but dont want them to question you. i think if you tell the kids,"dont go in this room" explain why they cant go into the room, dont get mad at them or get upset if they question you, they are curious and want to know why they cant do something, if you want these kids to excel in life you have to treat them as people not as kids, they have to be treated like you, you want them to like you not to hate you, relate to them. didnt it piss you off when your mom or dad said"no you cant have cansy right now" .did you want to know why, why not right now? you have to explain to these kids and talk to them and treat them like people not like lil babies, they are growing and the need to know things. explain these things ot them. with your hubby let him know that you both need ot be on the same page and needto set rulesfor the house or they will not like you and will use you two against each other. put your foot down and talk to each other before they come and then when they are there sit down again and discuss the rules with everyone. good luck.
I don't think you can do anything. Obviously there is an outside influence helping out here though. Try talking to the kid's mother. If the kids are in your home they need to learn to listen to your house rules and respect you. If you really want to be with this guy than tell him things need to change if they don't just leave. He probably wouldn't be able to see his kids, and keep them for so long if you weren't around to watch them for him.
well, good luck..you two should work together but it doesnt look that way. Your in a bad position...in most loving parents worlds their kids are going to come before their mate especially if you two don't have kids together....hope you can resolve this before you guys end up fueding and splitting up! Force him to communicate with you and stick to the plan! if that doesnt work then let havoc occur for him to come home to and he will have no choice but to try new ways to handle it seeing how his way isnt working!