I have a daughter who will be 16 in 2 weeks. Do ya'll think it appropriate that she is seeing a guy who is 21
Now he just turned 21 in July. I have met the guy and he is very nice and I have had numerous discussions with him. He appears to be a good guy. He has just returned (in Feb) from Irag with the Marine Corp. He current resides at home with his dad and step mom and is currently employed as an electrician apprentice. And yes I do feel that I have raised my daugher appropriately so that she can make wise decisions on her own. My goal is to raise an independent daughter, so that when she is 18 and on her own she will indeed know how to make wise decisions all by herself. So what up---is the 5 years too much difference when one is a minor? Your opinions please.
No.. it's not appropriate. My step daughter who had just turned 17 at the time got tangled up with a 24 year old. The situation turn horrible and consisted of her moving out and then back and the we threw her out and then she returned saying she didn't want him anymore and the we asked her to leave again when we found out she had lied to get what she wanted and now.. after physical and emotional abuse she has finnally given up this jerk and back home.
Will every experience with large age gaps be like this? Obviously not.. but there are lots of things here that you should be concerned about. Let's go through the list:
1) He's an adult dating a minor. Why is he not dating someone his own age? This is BIG question that needs to be thought about. I'm sure you daughter is lovely and sweet and kind... but so are THOUSANDS of ladies his own age... so why the facination is a minor? 2) He's an adult dating a minor. Same reason, different context... he can drink and smoke legally and she can't. He can go to bars and parties where alchohal is being served and then easily give this to her. He can buy tobacco and alchohal legally.. but if he shares it with his date.. he breaking the law. 3) He's an adult dating a minor. I know.. same reason... again.. different context. I would be 100% certain he has had multiple sexual experiences. Do you really think you daughter is ready for that? He will want to have sex with her very early in the relationship.. because that's what 'adults' do. Are you ready for the possiblity your daughter will be pregnant? I suggest you get her on Birth Control if she's not already. 4) Is he willing to wait another 2 to 3 years? Obviously your daughter is still in high school. If not you have bigger issues to handle and certainly don't need this kind of distraction. Is he willing to wait until she's graduated before they consider marriage and family? Have you discussed her future (HS diploma, college, career) and how this relationship will affect that? 5) He lives with Mom and Dad. This indicates that he hasn't grown up either. 24.. he should be out of the house and living his own life. He's still hat home because he is irresponsible and immature. He's dating high school age girls because 1)they are an easy mark for older guys and 2)he still living that high school life.
Well.. obviously I have some very strong feeling about this. We are still working to 'save our daughter' and get her back on track with her life. This situation is not a good and I suggest you become the parent and 1)tell your daughter this is inappropriate, 2)tell her it will be over, 3)tell him it is over and not to contact her and 4)be prepared to press charges against him if the relationship continues. Remember he's a 24yr old adult dating a 16yr old minor.... that is just wrong.
I think NO. The real problem that I see here is that a 21 yr old former Marine should not really have anything in common with a 16 yr old girl. If he does, then he is pretty immature and that is not likely to change. Your daughter will outgrow him real soon. I think that until she is 18, she should stick to guys much closer to her age. I have a Marine son and a 18 yr old daughter so that is where I'm basing my opinion on.
okay listen.... I am 21.... and I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt- NO! Sure he might be a nice guy and all, but he should have to wait.....and I wouldn't say wait until she's 18, I'd say wait until she's about 20. 18 years old doesn't all of the sudden make her smart... if nothing else, waiting until she's about 20 will let her get some college behind her- to the point that she'll want to finish it before she does anything else. If the 21 year old guy can't wait that long, then you'll know his intentions with her weren't for forever anyways.
Age always come up. But why does a 21 yr old wants to be sexually involved with a child under 16. Could it be that his level of mental development is between 15 and 21 and your daughters is between 15 and 21? In that case they are suited. Some women/girls prefer an older man. Be mindful of him being possessive of her and wanting to control her.