Have you noticed a pattern in relationships asked about on this site?
How many times are we going to read about some mother, married to a guy, but loving another, usually some guy from her past, and now thinking she made a mistake, and wants to go back to the first guy that she didn't marry because 'Mr. Right" came along and seduced her with sweet talk. This seems to be such a common theme in here, that the issue must be epidemic; is it a problem with the water supply? Young unmarried ladies; you need to take note of these questions, and sad stories. All these women would have told you before this happened that it wasn't going to happen to them. But human nature being what it is, I suppose that many of you are going to repeat the same mistakes.
blktiger@pacbell.net2006-09-20T21:20:02Z
Favorite Answer
One of the most frightening things about some human beings is that apparently they don't WANT to think - especially when it comes to relationships. They assume that if they "think it through," it's not love.
Actually, it's the opposite, IMNSHO. If you care about someone else, you need to ask, "Will this relationship benefit them? OR - will it hurt them?"
Some human relationships CAN be potentially toxic...
i think in part that kinda pattern is encouraged because people who are dating and realize that the relationship isn't going anywhere will still continue to be in that relationship because they fear to be alone
but in reality that encourages the other person to become more committed and involved - and the eventual breakup becomes far more guilt ridden and painful than if it had been done earlier
also most people don't have a 'check list' of what they want in a prospective mate - i know it sounds contrived but it can save a lot of time and heartache if you both enter a relationship with some idea of what you both want out of it in order to check for compatibility early on.
i know this idea doesn't sound 'romantic' and i have never ever seen a film that was a box office smash that encouraged that either but i did it and after 20 years with the same man it sure has worked for me!
People spend weeks and months shopping for a couch, but don't give 2 seconds thought to what they want in a guy. They fall for the first 'hottie' to come along, and try to change him into what they want for the moment, then wonder why the relationship isn't working. If you want a stay at home man, don't marry a traveling salesman.
I think it is because people say things that they want to ..in order to shock people here . the conversations are mostly sexually oriented, with no repercussions for it then they turn off the puter and lead a "normal life" again and no one has to know. A lot of what is said on the net should be taken with a grain of salt... Be wise ..screen your participants