Men....do you keep going once you're done (during sex)?
I am wondering what's going on.....my bf seems to ejaculate really fast, and I can never tell exactly when he does because he doesn't stop or look/sound different and then he keeps going and it throws me off completely.....does this happen often? Seems like he can stay hard afterwards and I wish I could tell when he was 'done'. He just seems to rush thru the wholething - lol.
Anything I can do or say to slow him down a bit? And then he keeps going and I am not even close so it is sort of awkward. And I always have to ask him if he orgasmed......not used to being this much of a dufus in the bedroom ~ thanks for any advice.
bamagirl2007-04-30T08:46:46Z
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I have had a couple of bf's just like this...no sound or eye-rolling or anything to clue us in that they just got "happy"! I felt just like you do, I hated to have to ask if he orgasmed, but I didn't have a clue if he did or not. And, I'm with you----it's really awkward if he finished really fast, b/c then you end up thinking "Well, he's finished, so I better hurry up." By this point, I usually just gave up b/c I was always waiting on him to lose his erection (since he was finished) and I knew that as soon as I got close to orgasm myself, he would probably lose it and then I would be REALLY disappointed. I figured why not just go ahead and stop before I got going good. lol
There really should be a standard signal that everyone must do when they orgasm to take the guesswork out of it!!! :)
If you cant tell exactly when he does then what makes you say he does "really fast"? and how does it throw you off completely. I must say it is fantastic when both people get "there" together but that is not always going to happen. Instead of concerning yourself with his orgasmic timing focus on yourself. Consider yourself lucky that he can continue once he has ejaculated. I think that it is possible that he cannot tell when you have climaxed and he is just being considerate and continuing until you are done. You may seem distracted during the act because you are paying to much attention to his orgasm. Just enjoy yourself.
Well, its not uncommon to be able to go a _little_ longer after. If you're close, he can probably keep it together long enough for you to reach orgasm, but if you're not close, chances are he's going to lose the erection too fast.
There's no 'right' or 'wrong' length of time to have sex. Some couples on here are probably done in 3 minutes, other the woman is probably saying 'i need 50-60 minutes, and my guy can only last 40!'. You just need what you need, and he's able to do what he's able to do.
My advice would be to talk to him. It _is_ possible for him to learn to last longer, though he'll need lots of practice (on you :p ) and support. But BEFORE you bring it up, I'd encourage you to think about how he can best pleasure you while he's working on lasting longer. He will probably feel hurt and inadequate when you bring it up, so I think you want to give him a short term plan so you both get off, and then a longer term target - which is him having full ejaculatory control.
Simplest answer would be a lot more foreplay for you until you're close (or close enough) to orgasm before you start sex. My suggestion would be that if (when) he orgasms before you, he finish you up after by hand/mouth. Personally, I'd rather pull out, maybe have you finish him with oral, then have him continue on you via oral. Now, I KNOW that may not be what you ideally want, but you need him to feel confident that he can satisfy you without holding off his orgasm. If he feels like he HAS to hold out, the pressure is likely to make him finish faster, no matter (or in fact, because of) how hard he's trying.
So, you need to set up a 'fall back' plan so that you can both relax and enjoy sex, then be supportive of him while he works on ejaculatory control so that you can have more options longer term.
As for what he needs to do, do a search for 'multi orgasmic men'. You can find tutorials online. He doesn't need to get to be multiorgasmic, but the tutorials basically show him how to be more in touch with how aroused he is, how close he is, and how to get more fine control over that via speed, breathing and kegel exercises.
Communicate, but also relax, have fun, give it time, and have back up plans that take the pressure off.
ask him if he is in a race for some reason, guys can control the ejaculation if they slow down a bit and flex their muscle their, can can keep going, most men after ejaculation lose flow to their Johnson,
when you find a real lover later in life you will know exactly when he goes
Yes guys can keep on going AFTER they ejaculate (and still be hard), this means that he has a strong heart and is in GREAT health! So good for you. If it bothers you then just tlak with him about it, if not, then no worries! and enjoy! BTW not all guys can do this as it depends on their overall health, so keep that in mind in case you do like marathon sessions!