I know I will be "interviewed" and tested; in addition, I was told I could take copies of whatever documentation I thought would be beneficial. He claims to want more parenting time, though he only followed a parenting schedule developed through the courts for around two months.
When I asked why we couldn't figure out what was best for our son, he said I started it (I filed for child support and he still owes arrears). Communication has worsened and he won't even discuss a summer schedule; it's his way or no way.
Advice? What is too much? What was the experience like for you? I know bashing isn't the way to go, but I have to get across the irresponsibility and lack of involvement on his part. Thank you.
Anonymous2007-05-25T08:48:36Z
Do not bash him. The only time you should talk about him is if you are asked questions about him. The guardian ad litem (I am assuming you have one) is only concerned with what is best for the child. They do not care about how the ex is stubborn and hard-headed. They are looking for the parent who only has the child's best interest at heart. During interviews you need to focus on your child. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT say one negative thing about your ex in front of your child no matter what. That is a huge huge huge mistake. That alone could cost you custody. Ask if you can get a mediator since communication is difficult. You could also ask them if you could have a second interview without your child present so that you could speak freely. However, if you do this, try to speak with facts only, not opinions. For example, instead of saying "Joe doesn't listen to me, he is so selfish", try saying "I have trouble communicating with Joe about reasonable visitation" and list your reasons and/or examples. A guardian ad litem will also ask pertinent questions in court like "what is the child's favorite food" to see which parent provides the most involved care. As for documents and copies of stuff, I would ask your attorney. If you don't have one, just ask the guardian if there is anything you could show him that would be beneficial to your case. Don't be scared or nervous (lol...I know you will be anyway!) guardians are nice people. I have been through this myself years ago, and am currently going through something similar now (adoption/termination). Just keep your head up and remember to put your child's happiness and well-being before anything else and you should be fine. Good luck to you!
First of all...yes we have and it is very hard. They ask alot of personal questions and then they want to come over all the time. Why are you even getting one? There has got to be a way if the boy wants to see his dad and the dad wants to see the boy that you can give him more visitation. He doesnt always follow the parenting plan? So what. This is about your child not you and the ex. LEt him build a relationship with his father and if Daddy screws it up then you are not to blame and your son will see that...The kids always equate the fighting with them...they think it is their fault...so try not to do it.
If shared parenting is not working then the court will give sole custody to one of the parents(put only one in charge of decisions). That is going to be you most likely unless there is reason you are unfit to parent.
If a schedule cannot be agreed to, the court will use their standard visitation policy.
If a parent blows off visitation then the court can remove the visitation order and leave visitation decisions to the custodial parent.