4 years ago when i was 14 i was raped and it continued and then formed into an abusive power play relationship. I was convinced by him that what he had done was fine because he loved me etc etc.... i ended up having a baby and left trying to break free from him.... i reported it all to the police and they al lready had a few complaints against him and also had arrested him for posession of child porn... that was abt three years ago and ever since then he has been stalking me despite the restraining order and bail conditions that are in place. Ive had two cars severly damaged, he drives past my house, follows me when i leave the house, also stalks my bf, calls atleast 5 - 30 times a day and sends emails. Ive changed my numbers, emails even moved but nothing seems to help he cant go a single day without having contact with me.... he pleaded guilty to two counts of unlawful sexual assault and there are a nother three counts he has pleaded not guilty to i just want to know how to move on?
2007-06-07T05:07:56Z
I keep reporting him over and over and everytime he gets fined 1k and out again because our prisions and remand center is filled so they just release him.....
Anonymous2007-06-07T06:38:52Z
Favorite Answer
I was stalked on a daily basis by an ex as well for three years, even now over the last year he still tries to make contact every so often, so I will tell you what I have been told by the police and other victims -
Keep a diary of every single incident, listing times, dates, places and what happened, as well as any witnesses present who can back you up. Keep reporting him to the police and file charges against him for harassment...stalking is something the legal system takes very seriously these days (in the UK at least) and they should build up a file against him, but it is always a good idea to keep your own records as well, hence the diary. If he is harassing your bf/friends/family as well, then get them to keep a record and report him every time too.
Keep any letters/voicemails/text messages/im's/emails that he sends you, as well as making sure you keep hold of phone bills and don't delete any received calls from him on your mobile - all of this can be used as evidence by the police should you take him to court for harassment/stalking charges.
If he is breaching the restraining order and putting you or your property in physical danger, enquire about gaining police protection, or if it gets really extreme and they won't offer you this service, hire private security (bodyguards, etc). Install CCTV in and around your home to capture on tape any incidents where he comes onto your property or drives past your house.
Buy a camera (disposable or a cheap digital) and carry it around with you in your bag. If he is following you, photograph him. A digital camera is best for this as it records the time and date that the photo was taken, although bear in mind that he could claim this was tampered with if he decided to contest this evidence. Still, it is better than nothing.
If he is following you, go to the nearest shop/house/public place where you will be safe. Tell someone like a member of staff or another member of the public that you are being followed, and ask for their help in contacting the police immediately (although the chances are once you are surrounded by other people he will back down).
Carry a mobile phone on you at all times and have the enregency services on one of the speed-dial buttons. If he puts you in immediate danger and there is nobody about to help you, call the police. Also carry a personal alarm to use in these circumstances.
Make sure you know where your child is and who they are with at all times - I don't want to frighten you but this man has a history of child abuse and there is a small chance he may try and abduct the child for this purpose or simply just to frighten you - if the child is in daycare/nursery/school, explain the situation to the staff and ask them to contact you immediately if he approaches the premises. If they don't know him, make sure they have a photo so they know what he looks like.
Change your numbers again and call your service provider to get his number blocked straight away (they may need a crime number, they do in the UK, so make sure you get any information you need from the police before you call)
Above all - I know I have already stated this but I cannot put enough emphasis on it - KEEP REPORTING EVERY SINGLE THING. If you don't report what is happening to the police, they can't help you.
First finish with him by contacting the police when he is showing up at your home as you have a restraining order against him. Report the phone calls and emails and car damages also as this has to stop. Bring the emails, and phone messages to the police so they can see that he is violating the restraining order.
In the meantime, change your phone number, change your email address.
If you don't enforce what is in place then he feels he can continue to get away with it. There is no way to move on until his butt is in jail. He sounds very obsessed with you.
hunny i don't know how to tell u to move on but u need to this mother fu ker to leave u the hell alone other wise u gonna something about it and if its possible i say stay with a friend or family member till this idiot gets thrown in jail bc nobodys wants to see u get hurt agian so be really careful and for now don't go place by yourself just to be safe make sure u have a friend with u or in a big crowd. And i say keep reporting him till they do something about it and if they don't u will. JUST BE CARFUL. Good luck i wish the best of some day be truly happy and forgetting the terrible years of your life
Call the police. Cause if he pleaded guilty to 2 counts of sexual assault, he is probably a registered sex offender and he will be arrested and sent to prison!!
Hmmm, I suppose you should join the witness protection society (I think thats what its called). It means starting a new life as a different person, but at least you will be away from him. Why isn't he locked up anyway? Ugh. But I'm thinking if it doesn't stop and he doesn't get locked up, thats what you will have to do.