Ok, so my best friend (guy) has a girlfriend and appears to everyone as straight, but he is fine with our legs touching when sitting next to each other, touches my head all over when I am in the front passeneger seat and he is in the front (in a funny way), and basically feels very comfortable touching me and stuff. But, he only does this when we are around other people. I came out to him about 3 years ago and he got oddly interested in who I thought what guys were hot in our high school, but he never said anything about himself being gay or even curious. To this day he still continues his "odd feelings" Is he just playing, or is this serious. As a bisexual man w/ a girlfriend, I feel uncomfortable touching other guys that I am not sure are gay, but he feels on me and he knows I am bisexual. Do you think straight men are more comfortable touching other guys because everyone thinks their straight, or do you think my friend is gay. Keep in mind his parents are strongly homophobic.
Anonymous2007-06-29T07:35:19Z
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I have a couple of straight buddies who are very "touchy feely" kind of guys, but they are not bi or gay. They just feel comfortable with themselves and with me. It's no big deal. Guys here (in Italy) even kiss when they meet up or say good bye...not on the lips of course...just the cheeks.
It depends on who you ask. For most people I know, it's far more acceptable-especially among some men-for a woman to be a lesbian,but not for a man to be gay. But respect? No, I wouldn't go as far to call it that. It is true, that a lot of people do think it's a phase that women go through, like it's an experiment. I think this is because most times a woman who said she was a lesbian and now she is straight can still attract a man, why, because a lot of guys think that type of thing is sexy. But, in the instances I've noticed, women are sometimes more reluctant to enter a relationship with a man who says he has been with other men. They tend to think that if a man has had a sexual encounter with a member of his same sex, then it automatically means he is gay and he will never want or like being with women again, whereas for women, it's a totally different ball park. I'm not spittin' bs, just what I have learned from the people around me, and other opininons I have heard on the subject. It's a theory, nothing more.
Whether he's gay or bi, he's obviously into you and is comfortable acting out with you. The "girlfriend" means nothing--one of my best friends in h.s. was the president of the student union and was going with the homecoming queen all through his junior and senior year, but he was gay all along, as he admitted after graduation.
I think your friend very much wants to be gay in public, his true nature, and enjoys the liberty of being able to be himself in public with you. You didn't say how YOU feel about it, though. Do you want it to continue? Do you want more affection from him? Tell him how you feel about his actions. And about him.
I can only tell you how I see this. It seems to me that your best friend is probably a latent gay. He is probably having a problem in accepting his sexuality because of the strong homophobia in his family. The fact that he only does this when you two are in the presence of other people and not when you are alone together suggests that this is a way of staying close to you without having to admit his sexuality.
I think it might just be him trying to make it very obvious that he's fine with you being bi and he doesn't feel weird around you or uncomfortable around you. He's physically making it very obvious not only to you but to the people he does this in front of that he's not homophobic, he's not worry he's going to catch it (lol) or worried that you're going to try to kiss him or anything. Sometimes people over compensate to make their points. That's what it sounds like to me.