I am going to a co-parenting class tonight with my ex (court ordered) and we just had a fight. I have to tell him that I can no longer watch our daughter while he works on his vistation days (ie. everyother Friday after school, his Holidays where there is no school, etc). He is not paying child support, yet he acts like he can tell me what to do (like telling me I HAVE to go to the PTA meeting tonight and cancel our co-parenting class). He knows all the right buttons to push to make me mad and upset. I know he's going to try to make me look bad tonight at the co-parenting meeting and I am sick of it.
Does anyone have any advise or a pep talk to help me through tonight? My hubby is at the range today until late and I can't even talk to him.
2007-09-19T12:52:41Z
Yeah not was I was looking for... The school thing is about the PTA so it doesn't effect my child and the co-parenting is suppose to help us communicate but that isn't working.
2007-09-19T12:52:59Z
I have custody.
2007-09-19T13:06:29Z
Racist Answer Man- LOL I don't think I'll stoop down that low to say that to him but you did get me to smile and laugh. Thanks for that!
Beatngu2007-09-19T12:52:25Z
Favorite Answer
First of all, take a look in your heart. You know you're a GREAT mother... To tell you the truth, it sounds like you have custody of your daughter, so that tells me the courts know it too. You take care of your daughter even when its his responsibility. YOU'RE AN AMAZING PERSON and your daughter is lucky to be with such a mother... As for tonight, I can't really help you there, all you need to know is that you're doing things right, and that is what matter.... Besides, what kind of mother would you be if you canceled your court ordered co-parenting class for a PTA meeting.... You're doing the right things and believe it or not, its shows who is the responsible one.
Take deep breaths. There is a reason your children are with you and not with your ex - you are a good mother. I don't understand why you have to watch your daughter on the days that it is HIS visitation. It seems to me that he should have to get a babysitter on those days. And if he's not paying support, he should have no say in anything! He sounds like a complete loser. Have you talked to your attorney about these issues?
I know about ex's knowing which buttons to push. They were with us long enough to know exactly what to say to get us going. But when you let him get under your skin like that, he wins. Keep telling yourself over and over that you are the bigger person, that you aren't going to stoop to his level. You know in your brain that he is a complete moron and that you are a great mother. So when he tries to make you look bad, just remember that no matter what anyone else thinks, YOU know the truth in your heart and so do you children.
Sounds like you need to change your court order, if you guys cannot work it out.
When he starts the button pushing, stay extremely calm and non-chalant. Respond with calm questions about why he feels he needs to act that way? Doesn't he care about your child? If he is so responsible, perhaps he could find a way to get your child support on time. Remember, this all must be calm and logical. You need to talk to him like a counselor trying to help someone who is messed up...not like a critic. It will put him in his place. When you react emotionally, he gets just what he wants from you.
Sounds like you need to remind him that you guys are divorced, and when it comes to him you don't 'have' to do anything. Might as well meet this one head on.
Remind him that his visitation days are more than a convenience for him - they're a responsibility both to his daughter and to his daughter's mother.
Worse comes to worse tell him if he starts up that crap in the class you're going to tell everyone there that he has a 3 inch dick. That might not get him to stop, but I guarantee it would make you feel better.
If he is not paying child support then he has no say!! If he wants to be a father he should act like one and pay for his child. Just blurt out that being a father also means that you financially support your child!!! If he keeps telling you what to do just take him to court and have his pay attached!