My girlfriend recently broke up with me. We had been dating for 17 months and she said that she wasnt "in love" with me. She said that she still loves me but that's not enough for her. What the hell does that mean? She's Brazilian and I'm American. Is this a cultural difference or do American girls feel the same way? I would prefer females to answer this question please.
►solo
Favorite Answer
Do you love your parents? Yes.
Are you in love with them? No.
Same situation.
Think about it.
ameeker
About your situation: Since you two didn't talk about marriage then she probably just felt that she wanted to "get on with her life" and meet other people.
About your question:
I have recently been reading Save Your Marriage Before It Starts and it says that everyone defines love differently. The passionate "in love" period only lasts under a few months to a few years, depending on the person. Many married people will get to the point where they wonder if they still love someone but they won't tell anyone but a counselor. This is natural because they are probably associating love with the passion-type of "perfect" love, but there are many stages of love. There is also the book The Five Love Languages that explains that everyone has a different love style and if their idea of love is not being met then they will not feel loved. Many relationships end because they did not learn and understand these concepts that there are different stages and types of love.
Lauren C
Yes American woman feel the same way... It means she is not feeling the euphoria she did in the beginning of the relationship. She doesn't get butterflies in her stomach when your eyes meet, and smile at just the thought of you.
For some woman they can't handle losing this feeling because they believe that's what "true love" is.
But most woman will soon learn as they get older it almost always goes away, and that's when TRUE LOVE starts, that's when you love the person for everything they are, the good and the bad. And you don't need butterflies in your stomach to prove it to yourself.
Anonymous
Well first off I am very sorry, you are probably heartbroken. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half so I can imagine you and her were on the same level as I am with my boy. If for some reason, I stopped being in love with him, yes I would still love him because of the person he is. I'm sure she still cares about you and loves you in that sense. I just think its odd she waited this long to tell you that. You need a woman that is absolutely crazy in love with you and will take care of you...try your best to move on, you deserve it.
K i m 617
Surprisingly, I actually understand what she means. There really is a difference between being in love versus loving someone.
You can love so many people; your best friend, your parents, brother/sister, but it's different to be IN love with someone. I don't know how & I really don't know why, but they are two different concepts. Being in love basically means completely giving your heart away, without a doubt. Loving usually means less commitment? I'm not sure.
But I understand where your ex is coming from. hahah hope this was of some help :) I'm now confused myself...