I married my "best friend" just 6 months ago. We lived together for a couple of years first. I make really good money and paid most of the bills, the wedding and more. He moved out and is seeing another women who has money, now I hear there was a history of this I never knew about. My heart has been torn from my chest. How do I hurt him as much as he hurt me?
Anonymous
Favorite Answer
At least he did this to someone that beleives in revenge and not someone with a heart. money will get you know where, you cant buy someone and expect any kind of respect.
Tauri Athena
Sweetie,
I'm sorry to hear your story. I know how much you must be hurting. Please know that others have felt that pain and although it feels like you are going to die, you will get through. It's not easy.
I'm not going to tell you to 'forget him' because I know it's not that easy. He's in your heart and a part of you. If your love for him was as deep as it sounds, you will never forget him. But, that's okay. It also sounds as if you had some good years with him. Those are the times that will adhere to your heart and be there long after the pain is gone.
Right now, you need to turn your focus from what he did to you, back to YOU. You are an amazing, beautiful, talented, special person. Remember what it is about you that is so incredible. Do what makes you feel good about yourself. Having him around, you probably never had time to sit and read a good book (okay, a smutty book), so take that time now - read a book that interests you! Paint your nails, change the curtains in your bedroom, eat ice cream in bed! What ever it is that makes you feel good - do it.
Promise yourself that you will spend the next week making yourself happy. Stop thinking about him. Every day, do nothing except what makes you happy (I know, you have to go to work and such, but otherwise)
And, remember - it's old and corny, but true - If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.
If he comes back, he's yours (if you want him) if he doesn't come back - he never really was yours.
Good Luck Sweetie - Be Happy
Anonymous
Wow... I feel for you. lovely :( Speaking from similar experience, I trusted one man over all the rest I had ever dated whom I knew for 10 years and he lied to me about everything. Talk about heart broken. First I cried all day and all night when I was alone. (I am a pretty strong ice queen when I want to be but this nailed me) I have only recently in the last 6 months stopped this however I do think about him still at least twice a week. The effects on you when you have made this marriage commitment are devastating and I could have never anticipated this level of hurt. Anyway, what do you... life goes on wether you like it not. Now, I have this incredibly sweet guy who tries to do absolutely everything for me way past any point of expectation and he stresses over my happiness constantly. Something is wrong though, cos inside me I am dumb, I don't even feel numb... there is no feeling at all. I think my heart is gone and I don't think I am ever going to 'love' another n\man again no matter how hard they try and I do try, I just can't feel anything! I hope you can just be anoyed at this guy and hold your head high as it sounds like he didn't deserve you in the first place.
Sincerely, best of luck :)
shelly_leigh78
Hello i was married for 11yrs. He cheated on me three tI'me with three different woman the last one he decide to keep she is 21 im 29 and have three kids with him, she had more time to do the things he thought were fun. It is very hard you will cry you will hurt it will feel like you will just curl up and die. Get up everyday go to work talk to friends talk to your mom LIFE IS NOT OVER this i know. Every day you do this you will hurt less and will cry less and one day you will find it doesn't hurt anymore and you can go through the day with out thinking about him . You can look back and remember the time with him and know that you would change anything and that next time you will choose wiser and better and there will be a next time. Good luck with your search wish me luck with mine.
Live_For_Today
You will become just as bad as him if you lower your standards to get back at him. There is a thing called karma and believe it is true and how it works, so let karma work its way onto him and watch and see him eventually come undone.
As for your hurt and pain?, only time can mend that unfortunately and with me it took three years before I even thought about another male partner. Spend time on yourself and what you want and what you want to do, when you want to do it and enjoy the freedom for awhile and mend.