Appropriate behavior for a 9 year old girl? Makeup, dying hair, ripped jeans?
I have a 9 year old daughter that attends a very competitive school in a city of 70K. She is in 4th grade. In her class, about HALF of the girls have started wearing makeup. They are wearing eyeshadow, blush, with lip gloss and mascara. Many of the girls have been dying their hair and getting highlights. The girls are wearing ripped jeans with tights underneath. Some of the girls have started having "boyfriends". I am appalled by this behavior from these little girls. I CAN'T BELIEVE that their parents are encouraging this! Luckily, my daughter thinks it is as ridiculous as I do. Am I just out-dated, or, should our little girls be little girls as long as they can? WHAT is the rush to have them putting chemicals on their heads and painting their faces like clowns? WHY- oh WHY would a parent rush to make her child look "grown up"? Don't they grow up too quickly already? What about protecting from pedophiles? Isn't it more important to developing a person- not an image at 9?
I didn't start most of that until like 12 or 13. I think possibly the light makeup, lip gloss and eyeliner, is all a younger girl should use. And ripped jeans? At least they wear tights underneath but I would give her a rule of no rips above the fingertips. Thats what most schools do. Also tell her dying her hair is damaging and what they use to do highlights is meant to partially destroy the hair.
And the boyfriends... have a conversation with her about boys her age. They play with childrens toys! No boy is mature enough for any kind of romantic relationship until at least 14 or 15. Plus tell her that if she does get a bf you WILL be meeting them and having a sex talk. If its too embarrassing for them, they shouldn't try to act more grown up than they are.
You are absolutely right and should be aplauded for your efforts to keep your children exactly that- children! My 10 year old sees what the other children wear when we go out- luckily at school, they have to wear uniforms! She has questioned on occasion why she can't do certain things or wear certain attire and we have always responded with the fact that 1st and formost, she is OUR child and we must do what we feel is appropriate! If other parents allow their children to dress a certain way, then so be it. We have also mentioned the fact that when little girls or even women dress a certain way, they are attracting negative attention! Luckily, she too agrees with modesty and dressing appropriately. It is an ongoing issue I believe in our society. We can't shelter them from everything but it is great that we can use others as a teaching moment! As far as "boyfriends" my 10 year old thinks its crazy as well and does not participate in it. Thank goodness most of the children at school she is friends with focus on school and learning, not boys! My 10 year old still enjoys playing with dolls, as she well should!
Weel i think thats pshin it a litlle bit... my daugter is int he sixth grade and she weras only blush in th ewinter when her skin turns pale white.. cover up fo rpimples, and zits , an lipgloss. she does infact have ripped jeans i see nothing r\wrong with them as long as long as they are appropert aka in the knees. Well as to dying hair i say that is a big NONO NO thats not good. highlights are okay as long as they look natural and not look trashy like pink or blonde if they have black hair. My daughter has no need for highlights .. she has natural blonde highlights. Well i know that when my daughter was in the forth grade she did not have a boyfriend but did have a chrush on a boy .. but no boyfriend. now i think chrushes are okay and i exspet that. I now that in her fith grade class a think two grl snad a boy had grlfriends and boyfriends. i think let her exleast have lipgloos and a pair of knee ripped jeans .. if you a prove.. but lay down the laws .. no boyfriend no datin til she is mature and you trust her.. no heavey make up til you think she is old anoff. And give her some cover up when her skins starts to blumish.. if that even happens to her. So that s is all i think
You are doing the right thing, as is your daughter, unfortunately, you WILL be in the minority from this point on. For some reason, the sexualization of very young girls has become acceptable among the upper middle class and above. These same parents who buy these types of clothing, allow boy/girl sleepover parties and encourage this kind of behavior will be the same ones who are absolutely "shocked" that their 11 year old Brittany or Tiffany is engaging in oral sex parties after school while parents are at work.
My advice is that you not give into the peer pressure and continue raising a healthy young girl into a healthy womanhood. One who will not end up cutting herself, drugging herself, engaging in promiscuous sex or performance sex, starving her body or any of a number of things that so many of today's girls use show their self-loathing, even though they are unable to express it in words.