Should fathers be allowed to relinquish rights before birth?
A biological father (particularly one that's not involved in the pregnancy, and has no interest in being involved) does not go through the same experiences a "birth mother" does. Should we then allow those fathers to waive their rights before birth? Paternal rights are already allowed to be waived in certain divorce cases where the mother claims her ex-husband is not the father of the baby she is carrying, even though the marriage was not ended before the child was conceived. This is done so that the (presumably) real father can be named on the birth certificate immediately. Since that is already allowed, should we not similarly allow birth fathers to waive their rights in adoption situations?
Would this prevent mothers from naming the father as "unknown" to avoid complications with the adoption since they would know ahead of time if the father had complied? Would this give adoptees more accurate information about themselves? What do you think?
2008-01-10T20:38:59Z
Ok - just a clarification here. I am not talking about dad's getting a "get out of jail free" pass on being a father. I am only talking about the ability to relinquish rights for an adoption - not just in general.
Anonymous2008-01-10T20:37:49Z
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I do think that fathers should be allowed to relinquish rights even before birth. I'm a birthmom, and I know that my ex would have happily given up his rights ASAP, (as I was handed a blank check and pointed towards the abortion clinic).
I did name the father when I was dealing with my lawyer. I regretted it later, when I was worried that when the lawyer contacted him to sign the adoption papers that he would try to keep her. He was a drunk and a dead beat dad already, so I knew he would not be raising her- if she wasn't to be adopted, I'd be raising her. That's why I refused to sign until after he did, if you'd like to know that as well. So yes, if you are 'all for' keeping the records as complete as possible, then it would be more beneficial for the birthfathers to be able to sign away their rights before birth. If I were ever to be in that situation again, I would not name the father.
You might not agree with me, but I really am trying to answer your question to help.
These are all questions that should have been discussed BEFORE you asked him to get you pregnant!!! If you agree to keep him in your new child's life - and yours then by default - then you will always have the drama that his life will bring. Choosing for your child whether or not his father will be allowed in his life is a HUGE decision. It seems you're trying to answer this situation with an "all or nothing" anwswer. Just because you don't allow the father in the delivery room doesn't mean he can't ever be in his child's life. With your child's well-being in mind - it's time to see an attorney & draw up some sort of "visitation" or custody arrangements.
Just as some women do, a man may freak out when he first discovers he's going to be a parent. He may say stupid things & not be too thrilled about becoming a father before he's ready.
Sadly, father's currently have very limited rights in most states. In many states, fathers must sign a Putative Father's Registry within 30 days (or less) of the birth of their child showing their "intent to claim paternity". That's assuming dads are even aware the registry exists. According to www.ChildWelfare.gov "there is a lack of uniformity among States as to the level of protection available to unwed fathers."
In many states, an unwed father's name can not be entered on the birth certificate. Also, if he doesn't know about the registry & hasn't signed it, the law does not require that he be notified of the adoption.
Is that fair?
All father's should have the same parental rights as mothers. Then we can consider the appropriateness of him waiving his rights before the child is born.
But that's not your question. As you pointed out, a father does not go through the same experience as the mother (i.e., the pregnancy). Many father's don't feel as 'connected' to their child as an expectant mother does before their child is born. How can he sign away his rights before he's had an opportunity to see his child. Before his child seems "real" to him?
Absolutely--it would be better for adoption purposes. But (sorry guys) the birth mother can and should put him on the birth certificate for the purpose of A. Adoption--the child can still know medical info about the father--plus gives the baby be allowed to be placed with the adoptive family right away. B. If the birth mother keeps the baby--even though a "man" doesn't want to claim his child he still HAS to pay support-he just gives up rights to ever claim legal or physical custody--he still has to make sure a child that is biologically his is taken care of-just don't let him know that til he signs away his rights.
No, I don't think fathers should be allowed to relinquish rights until after the baby is born. Comparing a divorce case where adultery has taken place doesn't change that. For many fathers, the shock of suddenly having a baby takes time to get over. A fair percentage may change their minds once the reality of the baby is before them.