Will you please give me your feedback on this?

I haven't felt this way...... in several days...... and it's all because of you.......So, when I see you standing there...... I just look up at you and stare......... oooh............stare..................


Every time I look you in your eye..... It just makes me want to cry.... and if you want to know why..... Then I mustn't tell you a lie..... and the reason is because after all those years we spent together.... one day you just decided to leave me forever.... and I'm just still missing you because I thought our love was true..... And now that I know I was wrong... I'm just writing this song.... and if you ever want to come back to live with me then please.... babe...... feel free.


By the way, "............." just means that you sing that word longer than the rest....or hold it longer than the rest. Also, I would like to let you know that I play the piano, guitar (both electric and acoustic), and the violin. So, I can write my own music to the songs I am working on.

Also, I know this is the wrong section but I want people to give me their opinion on the song. So, if you will be nice enough and just tell me what you think of it then I will be sure to choose a best answer.

Thanks!

JOHN B2008-02-05T11:14:59Z

Favorite Answer

Go for it!! (see previous e-mail)

Joey R2008-02-05T18:32:06Z

I must say that I actually like it. I think it was a good job and I wouldn't change a thing though I'm sure others might not agree with me. Keep up the great work.

Anonymous2008-02-05T18:31:19Z

truthfully. its not very unique at all. u use words like...i...cry...lie...why....its pretty boring. not to be rude or anything. but u need to spice it up and use some bigger more complex words.

Allison S2008-02-05T18:32:51Z

i agree w/ mumnwife