How do I tell my husband something I am afraid to?
I had an abnormal pap and need to go in for a coloscopy, but I really don't know how to tell my husband. I am afraid that he will be scared or upset or angry. He is a very good man and has never hurt me, but for some reason I can't seem to bring myself to tell him this. It is eating away at me and I could really use his support in dealing with this fear.
Does anyone have any suggestions to make this easier?
2008-02-11T09:02:54Z
Perhaps Angry was the wrong word to use. He might get angry at the situation but not at me.
I am just afraid to tell him because on the outside he will tell me it is all okay and be supportive, but I know it will eat at him.
I figure if I wait a while then he will have less time to worry.
Anonymous2008-02-11T08:39:02Z
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Of course he may be scared or upset. He may have to deal with worrying about losing you, feeling helpless because he can't control the situation or fix things for you. Don't shortchange him by hiding this from him. Good men want to take care of their wives. Let him show you how strong he can be. Let him feel good by leaning on him. You are a team, go through this together.
First, look up all the info you can on it (I've pasted in a brief description below) so that you are informed about the procedure. You should know that having an abnormal pap is not uncommon - more than likely the colposcopy will rule out any problems. However, if there is an issue, there are some other in-office procedures that they can usually do as a next step. For instance, cryosurgery (freezing the cervix) to kill any abnormal cells. I had this done in the early 90's after an abnormal pap and have never had any other problems. I was able to drive myself to and from both procedures and didn't take any time off from work other than what it took for the appointments.
Sit down with your husband soon and just tell him - tell him you're a little nervous and you need his support. Let him know if you want/need him to go with you. Expect him to be there for you - and if he's nervous too then be there for each other. Best of luck.
Colposcopy or colcoscopy is a medical diagnostic procedure to examine an illuminated, magnified view of the cervix and the tissues of the vagina and vulva. Many premalignant lesions and malignant lesions in these areas have discernible characteristics which can be detected thorough the examination. It is done using a colposcope, which provides an enlarged view of the areas, allowing the colposcopist to visually distinguish normal from abnormal appearing tissue and take directed biopsies for further pathological examination. The main goal of colposcopy is to prevent cervical cancer by detecting precancerous lesions early and treating them. The procedure was developed in 1925 by the German physician Hans Hinselmann.
Why on earth would your husband be upset or angry at you for this!? It's not your fault that you had an abnormal pap! If anything I think he would be concerned for your well being. Just tell him that you had an abnormal pap and need a colonoscopy and that your doctor says.......whatever your doc said. Tell him just like you just told all of us. He's your husband and will (should) be there to support you. You don't need to be worrying about this and the abnormal pap. Just tell him. I'm sure everything will turn out just fine! Good luck.
Sarah, first of you will be FINE....I know you are nervous and scared especially when you don't know what to expect but, you need to have faith....The procedure is not that long nor harmful in anyway...I had mine done recently and was also afraid to tell my husband but, you need him there as well as I needed my husband there...Who else to lean on then your spouse and I'm sure he would want to be there with you every step of the way...I think you might want to have some information about what to expect just so he can know when you tell him...But, don't make a choice for him out of fear...He should make that choice himself....He's a good man you said so I'm sure he will embrace this situation just like anything else you do together....All the best and keep us posted with your recovery....
Why are you afraid to tell him this - what are you afraid of? Why in the world would he be angry? If anything - yes - he may be upset because he will be worried. Just tell him - Honey - my pap smear came back abnormal - (by the way - lots of them do and they are ok later) Just tell him you have to go for further testing and that you are scared. Let HIM protect you! Good luck - I hope all is well.