What is the best to do to get out of my limited condition? With plain words:?

With plain words: What is the shortest way to enlightenment?
Can you give me a practical advice what I can do without the need to leave my home, my work and my family. I can’t effort to go for seminars or long retreats and I don’t like to follow a guru or a special strict discipline. I’m willing to take self-responsibility for what I’m doing and I’m serious about it.
Detail added: I must say that I am not religious and I’m not interested to follow any kind of belief system and when I read in the category “spirituality’ then also I don’t want to call myself spiritual and that’s the reason why I put my question into ‘psychology’.

2008-02-21T07:31:22Z

When I say, "What is the 'shortest' way..." Then I don’t mean a short cut. I say the shortest because I don't want to get lost in the labyrinth of errors or ending up many times in cul-de-sac. Yes, it is a path, but if I don't know exactly in which direction to go, then I will get lost and probably will walk in circles, arriving after much struggle where I left some time ago. I want to avoid this and that's because I'm asking.
I should have used another word instead of ‘enlightenment’ because this is connected with too many images of religious concepts. So I try again: “What is the shortest way to go there where I am support to arrive as a sense giving final of my existence as a fulfillment of the reason why I’m here. Because how I am now, this doesn’t seem to be a desirable permanent state of being.”

2008-02-21T07:33:13Z

When I say, "What is the 'shortest' way..." Then I don’t mean a short cut. I say the shortest because I don't want to get lost in the labyrinth of errors or ending up many times in cul-de-sac. Yes, it is a path, but if I don't know exactly in which direction to go, then I will get lost and probably will walk in circles, arriving after much struggle where I left some time ago. I want to avoid this and that's because I'm asking.
I should have used another word instead of ‘enlightenment’ because this is connected with too many images of religious concepts. So I try again: “What is the shortest way to go there where I am suppost to arrive as a sense giving final of my existence as a fulfillment of the reason why I’m here. Because how I am now, this doesn’t seem to be a desirable permanent state of being.”

2008-02-21T07:35:06Z

Sorry, I only wanted to correct one word, but it went wrong. There is not given the option to edit once it is submitted.

2008-02-21T07:44:24Z

"Am I trying to make the most of my life? Am I trying to do good things for the sake of doing good things?" Yes, of course. Why do you think I'm asking my questions here? To make the best out of it, not wasting time and energy in doing foolish things even though these might give some fun or satisfaction...

2008-02-23T00:56:28Z

I mean wouldn't it be interesting to find a way to give an easy advice that could be included to peoples daily routine so that they could avoid to go too deep into a behavior and life style that is destructive and causes them suffering? The problem seems to be that people are so much occupied with their daily survival needs, that they are not open for something beside their struggle. People do what all the other are doing and they move in the same thinking pattern, so something new will be ignored and rejected. So an advice should be in the frame of what people are doing anyway.
I believe it is worthwhile to think about it to find out... Don't you think so?

2008-02-25T03:41:10Z

Betsy, your reflections are valid and that you came to the conclusion that surrendering is essential and for sure is right, but surrendering can't be a tool to get out of a condition. Otherwise it might become a concept and it would not work. If one surrenders then this is the outcome and result of ones life experience connected with pain, disappointment and suffering. To surrender can't be a goal, it will happen be itself.

2008-02-25T13:03:16Z

I searched in Wikipedia about 'surrender' and my conclusion is that to be able to surrender is still the result of a step in ones growing process, even you use your will power, because making a decision like this is a step one must be ready to do and this only can be the result of a long preparation, probably with a lot of suffering gaining some insights that then guides to such a 'doing'.

BeiYin *answers questions*2008-02-24T14:48:01Z

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The conditions we find ourselves and feel as limited, are those that has grown and been established over a long period of time. This is part of our history and given as a heritage from our ancestors. Established concepts giving a frame in which people can move and feel secure. Individuals are different in their state of evolution. Most don't question their conditions and so also not themselves and live as good as capable, not being really content, but without urge for a change. Others are grown out of their conditioning and have the urge to explore and live new horizons. Indeed there are individuals who are critical with any kind of conditionings, no matter if these might come from their culture or religious influences.

But doesn’t religion and spiritual concepts help to get out of limiting conditions?

Any kind of concept is limiting and the real problem is that the most sophisticated spiritual concepts are the most dangerous, because these are holding the individual in an invisible cage, giving identification and satisfaction and not allow going beyond this. The individual is trying to live the concept and is squeezing it into ones daily life situations. It is difficult to be critical about it, because the adapted concepts are not recognized as such when one has made them as a part of oneself.
I think it is good that you don’t want to join seminars and gurus. What you receive there are mostly concepts, although connected with practical advices.

I will try to give you practical advice that is not being connected with a concept:
There where you are is the perfect place to learn and to grow. It depends totally on your attitude. If you see it as positive and as a challenge even it is difficult, then you will be open to look for a creative way to deal with whatever shows up, including yourself. Life is the best teacher; if you really can see it like this then this is the best way to get out of your limiting conditions. That you are willing to take self-responsibility is a basic step. That you are serious about it is good, but don't be too serious, that means don't force anything, not other people and not yourself, maybe only a little and then let it happen.

One can learn to be effective by not wasting energy. You can start with having a checkup about your habits, beginning with your eating habits. You know that how you nourish your body also has a strong influence on your mind and emotions. Then check the other influences you are exposed to. If you live in a city then you can't avoid the noises, the bad air and the traffic jam, but if you are at home then select carefully what you take in, so switch off the TV and give yourself a rest from all inputs. Give yourself a space in silence, relax and drop all worries for the moment. You might be too nervous and can't relax, then some yoga exercise will help you, or a hot bath or a sauna or a good massage. This you are not doing to get out of limited conditions, you do it to create the basic condition so that you can be open and relate in a way to what comes to you that it is creative and keeps your mind and emotions open to be able to react and also that you are capable to observe and are aware of yourself and your surroundings. Then things can happen by itself, you can just allow it and then respond out of your responsibility, making your decisions by valuating more the facts than subjective feelings or oppinions or unreflected reactions.
I said that the basic thing to get out of limiting personal conditions is that one can stay relaxed and open to confront ones daily life situations and that one takes care of ones body, mind and emotions, not to waste energy. Now, what else could be done as a practice, to further ones growing process, because that’s what we are talking about, - right?
The skill to surrender seems to be a practice for advanced people who have already reached a curtain awakened state. This is probably too far ahead for some body who just is asking the first questions wanting to get out of suffering because of present conditions. I said that one should be critical about influences coming from ones surrounding and make choices that help self-reflection. One really needs to find out about oneself and so asking questions is a good start. The answers can arise from within, we are all much wiser than we can imagine! We just need to give space to ones own inner voice. That we can do by staying in silence and we can create this space. We are mostly too much sucked into daily life with trying to survive and finding satisfaction, but we can’t see the forest because of too many trees! We are in a kind of hyper state, caused by stress and our need to fulfill our needs. To get out of this, at least for some moments, I suggest doing a simple exercise. I call it ‘StressReleaseExercise’. It is easy to do and indeed it is very effective. But one needs a certain discipline, because one should do it every day. For advice how to do it, just click the link below...

Bomoon2008-02-21T13:12:57Z

One can only walk in a straight line if one can focus on a goal or target that shows up at the horizon. But then one might find out, after one has invested a lot of energy and time, that after reaching the target, that this is not what one was looking for. So this seems like wasted energy... but probably one has learned something when one was walking, using all ones energy to reach this target, so the investment was not for nothing. On the other hand, when having no target one can focus on, then one walks just around like a child in the field, being attracted by one flower, then by another and so on. Getting lost but having fun, walking in circles and so indeed arriving where one had started. When having enjoyed the walk, then nothing was lost.
If one wants to accomplish something fed by a concept or an image, then one will walk and search from one goal to the next until one finds what is the most confirming ones image. But it never can be perfectly the same and then one realizes that having reached the goal, it doesn't give the satisfaction one had expected...
Continuing like this all ones life? There must be a better way...
Bomoon
Edit:
Betsy, can you explain what exactly is 'surrender' for you? With this word there are many religious images connected and so part of concepts. Using it with will power as an application to reduce ones ego, sounds kind of artificial. Doesn't come the will power from the ego? Wouldn't this mean to enter into a new ego game? Are you suggesting this? And you react if somebody makes a critical remark, so then you feel not confirmed in your concept you are trying to use on yourself? How can you see 'surrender' as a 'tool' and promote it? Understandable, because it works on you. In how far does it work for you? I also believe, like Rahmona does, that surrender happens as a result and maybe it happens if one observes this, then one makes this new state to ones own and without realizing it one has made it as part of ones concept to reach 'enlightenment'? Just my thoughts, I don't want to offend you or reduce your valid answer. I say this because lately I observe that people are so extremely sensitive about their intellectual property and expression and also about their advanced state of being…

JORGE N2008-02-21T15:54:46Z

I find that in order for me to get out of something I have gotten into is by making the determination to do so and that is that. You already have within you the ability to improve your situation and once you have decided to do it you have enlightened yourself plenty. If you are serious about that determination and you have already passed the more ascetic tests than you are an enlightened person anyways and just need to re-awaken that ability within you. Remembering what determinations got you where you are and then taking responsibility for that situation is enlightenment and not really a whole lot more goes into it. And then maybe, like me, I know why I'm a lazy slob and in that I am very well enlightened to that fact and I don't need to go to some monastery or take more lessons in self realization and I don't need to practice any religion or any of that to be here now. I am here now even though not necessarily wearing the robes of a monastic order or some higher discipline.

Anonymous2016-04-03T03:39:31Z

God is the creator of the cosmic order. He defined the consequences of each and every action. He created everything in such a way that smaller things become part of a bigger system which is self sustaining. All the bigger systems sync with each other to form a more beautiful bigger system. All the events in this world are results of the actions by the smaller beings in this world. To keep it simple... A plant dies to quench the hunger of a goat. A goat dies to quench the hunger of a man. A man dies to quench the hunger of a plant. It's a cycle. If this sub-system fails then the larger systems will fail, and the world will end up in utter chaos. You said that you hate the way you are being humiliated by others. You also said, that you would better live the life of an animal than to suffer as a human. Please read the following example as slowly as you can and imagine the situation with diligence. Do you think that a bacteria is free from fear, humiliation, and death? If you do so now, please google with the following keywords: WBC hunts bacteria video. You will be able to locate a video where a bacteria runs for its life, while a swarm of WBCs run behind it and engulf it and destroy it. Suppose, God were to protect the bacteria from WBCs, the man who is carrying the bacteria will have to suffer pain, disease, and death. Therefore, the larger system will collapse. You, as a human being, are willing to accept the fear of death, humiliation, and destruction of a poor bacteria as valid and necessary. Why will the creator of this universe not feel the same about we human beings, who are just part of a very large system. After all this, God has given special consideration for humans. He has given us the ability to think and has also provided the ways to minimize our sufferings while participating in this chain reaction. It is only foolish on our part to refuse such wisdom and not search for his ways. Most of our sufferings are artificial. Ex: A woman has extramarital sex, and begets a child, and leaves the child an orphan. The orphan child becomes prey to the whims and ways of this world. This scene would never occur in the first place, if we followed God's code of conduct. I can tell you more such examples, but by now you yourself should be able to realize them. All of the social problems are because of ego, selfishness, malice, hatred, and all ill thoughts. If we as a society decide to shred off all our bad qualities, the society will become good. THEN, GOD WILL MAKE MORE SENSE FOR ALL OF US.

Anonymous2008-02-21T12:48:00Z

If you want to get out of limiting conditions and you know these conditions then change them and if this is not possible, then change your attitude, that might already be enough so that they don't limit you. But of course it depends very much what conditions these are. Do you refer to your senses? Or your mental and emotional capacity? These can be developed, the same with your intuition.
A practical advice? Make a list of the conditions and what is the limitation from it. Check in how far you can change something about it, by reducing your dependency or enhancing your capacity. Check in how far these conditions are connected with your education and what you have received when you were growing up. What have you received from your surrounding and from society? Check your concepts you are holding, look at your self-image, this might be limited. Clear up things...
InkyPinkie

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