How do you reconcile being Catholic and using contraception?
I was born Catholic and religion is important to me, but at the same time, I don't want to have too many children. I married my first boyfriend, and we've been married for 11 years. We have a 3 year old son and 8 1/2 month old twins. Life is full.
I know about Natural Family Planning. I have actually used it to get pregnant, but never used it to avoid pregnancy. I'm afraid about it not be effective.
I also know that using contraception is a mortal sin.
I am having internal conflict, because clearly the idea of contraception and Catholicism doesn't mix.
If you are Catholic and uses contraception, how do you reconcile these within yourself?
sparki7772008-02-26T07:03:25Z
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Hi -- I've been Catholic for almost 5 years, and I've been using NFP for 14 years because I can't be on the pill for health reasons and because I have a latex allergy that makes barrier methods impossible.
I don't have oodles of kids. My kids are 8, 5.5 and 4.
If you have used NFP to achieve pregnancy, then you know a lot about how your body works, and you know that you can't get pregnant if you have sex when there is no egg available to fertilize. So really, you shouldn't have so many doubts about NFP. Anyway, there are several different NFP systems -- the one you were using might not give you so much confidence, but another one that is really scientific, like the Creighton Model, would. And if you are really worried about getting pregnant, you pad the "assumed fertile" days by an extra day or two in either direction.
There really is no good way for a Catholic to "reconcile" him/herself to committing a mortal sin on an ongoing basis. A mortal sin is a mortal sin, and you just never know when you will be suddenly at the end of your life without a chance to repent. Also, if you try to convince yourself that committing a mortal sin is okay because of your situation, you risk developing a malformed conscience, which makes it easier for you to commit other sins in other areas of your life.
Look, it is a sacrifice to obey this teaching when you are in a situation where you need to avoid pregnancy. But as you know, sacrificing something for the sake of Christ is not a bad thing. It's actually a very good thing to do, and He will honor you for the sacrifice.
<<How do you reconcile being Catholic and using contraception?>>
The Church does not levy a blanket condemnation of all "birth control". Artificial contraception is an absolute no-no, but using Natural Family Planning is perfectly acceptable.
<<I was born Catholic and religion is important to me, but at the same time, I don't want to have too many children.>>
If religion is important to you, then you must know that the Church regards children as a blessing. It's okay to have ideas, and even plan for, what we personally prefer for a family. HOWEVER, we must not lose sight of the fact our ideals may very well be different from God's idea. In such a situation, we must be ready to foresake our personal ideals and adopt God's.
<<I married my first boyfriend, and we've been married for 11 years. We have a 3 year old son and 8 1/2 month old twins. Life is full.>>
Three children, and you have not yet realized that love multiplies with every new addition. It does not divide. If you were to have more child(ren), you would love them every bit as much as you do the first three - and, because of that love, you would find a way to make it work.
<<I know about Natural Family Planning. I have actually used it to get pregnant, but never used it to avoid pregnancy. I'm afraid about it not be effective.>>
If it was so effective in helping you get pregnant, why can it not also be effective in preventing pregnancy?
Statistically, when done right, NFP has a 90% success rate. Artificial contraception is - at best - 70% effective. In the interest of avoidning pregnancy, logic suggests you go with NFP.
<<I also know that using contraception is a mortal sin. I am having internal conflict, because clearly the idea of contraception and Catholicism doesn't mix.>>
Again, it's artificial contraception that doesn't mix with Catholicism. NFP is morally acceptable to the Church.
The Church actually has people trained to show others how to use NFP most effectively. Properly instructed couples - who practice NFP EXACTLY the way it NEEDS to be done, what can I say other than IT WORKS.
My wife have a 22 month old daughter. Our plans were to add to the family in a couple of years but my daughter now has a seven-month old brother.
After my daughet was born, we tried "NFP", on our own. That is, with no instruction from people who know how to do NFP the way it is supposed to be done. When we found out we were going to have another baby, as concerned as we were - we welcomed the new addition with the same ethusiastic arms that welcomed my daughter.
My wife and I are WAY BUSY now, much more so than we anticipated. Still, because we love our new little addition, we wouldn't have it any other way.
<<If you are Catholic and uses contraception, how do you reconcile these within yourself?>>
Catholics shouldn't use artificial birth control, period. Those that do are either unaware of this fact, or don't care.
I think a lot of this has to do with society having promoted the idea that children are liabilities, not assetts. This, most often, comes from people who are inherently selfish, or those who (like yourself?) are selling their abilities short by assuming they're already maxed out and can't handle any more.
If you wish to practice birth regulation, Jesus wants you to use NFP. Did He not say, "Be not afraid"?
My wife and I practice NFP and have avoided births for the 2 years we've been married. Now, her biometrics are fairly consistent and fit in well with what NFP measures, so we're a bit lucky on that note.
I think the ideal would be if a couple cannot physically, emotionally, or financially handle another child to abstain from sex for a short period of time. This is actually what NFP does (since most women can only get pregnant 3 to 5 days a month, there's not much of an interruption). If NFP isn't reasonable, or if a pregnancy would result in substantial risks to a woman's health or the marriage or family's well-being, over a long period I think a case can be made for contraception. Full abstention from intercourse for a long period of time isn't good for marriage, and I think where an overriding concern for the health of the woman or the family exists, artificial contraception can be allowed.
Before you even talk with a priest about it, talk with your OBGYN and see if they support NFP - many don't. There should be an NFP support group in your community or city that could put you in touch with doctors who are supportive, and then you should have a good and honest discussion about it.
Congrats on the blessings of a good marriage and three wonderful children.
Christians have always condemned contraceptive sex. Both forms mentioned in the Bible, coitus interruptus and sterilization, are condemned without exception (Gen. 38:9-10, Deut. 23:1). The early Fathers recognized that the purpose of sexual intercourse in natural law is procreation; contraceptive sex, which deliberately blocks that purpose, is a violation of natural law.
Every church in Christendom condemned contraception until 1930, when, at its decennial Lambeth Conference, Anglicanism gave permission for the use of contraception in a few cases. Soon all Protestant denominations had adopted the secularist position on contraception. Today not one stands with the Catholic Church to maintain the ancient Christian faith on this issue.
How badly things have decayed may be seen by comparing the current state of non-Catholic churches, where most pastors counsel young couples to decide before they are married what form of contraception they will use, with these quotations from the early Church Fathers, who condemned contraception in general as well as particular forms of it, as well as popular contraceptive sex practices that were then common (sterilization, oral contraceptives, coitus interruptus, and orally consummated sex).
Many Protestants, perhaps beginning to see the inevitable connection between contraception and divorce and between contraception and abortion, are now returning to the historic Christian position and rejecting contraceptive sexual practices.
It should be noted that some of the Church Fathers use language that can suggest to modern ears that there is no unitive aspect to marital intercourse and that there is only a procreative aspect. It is unclear whether this is what some of them actually thought or whether they are intending simply to stress that sexual activity becomes immoral if the procreative aspect of a given marital act is deliberately frustrated. However that may be, over the course of time the Church has called greater attention to the unitive aspect of marital intercourse, yet it remains true that the procreative aspect of each particular marital act must not be frustrated
I can't reconcile the two personally. It's just too wrong to me. I know you said you checked out NFP, but you might reconsider it. It is--no joke--very nearly as effective at preventing pregnancy as hormonal contraception. I can understand the distrust though. I think we live in an age where natural methods are just not held up as effective. (Not to mention drug companies don't make money off NFP, which is why they don't want anyone to know about it.) It took me a loooong time to get used to the idea of never using birth control, but now I'm completely against it.