How long does it take to unwind and calm down. Sure today's battle field is much safer than Vietnam, but the end effects are still the same. Dead is dead. The stress is still there. Would it be unreasonable to want one day off before having to be father of the year again. Is there a wrong answer or just many right answers?
Smoker06
Favorite Answer
You hit the nail on the head. You need some time to decompress before seeing your family and then some more time with your family to get used to them.
We were lucky. We had five days in Kuwait before we flew back home. Great time to decompress. But then I still "blew up" on the third day back with the family. My kids just wanted to be with me and I needed some time alone. I still regret that incident.
textmistress
My heart goes out to you. You wouldn't have asked if you didn't want to be dad of the year. Nor would you have asked if you didn't think you were falling short. Only a true dad of the year would even be concerned. There are so many ways to answer this question, I could ramble on until tomorrow and still feel like there wasn't enough said. Love you kids, tell them you love them and if you mess up tell them you are sorry. They will forgive you.
And when all else fails, put yourself if "time out." Encourage your wife to help you. If she knows you are stressed out and need sometime alone, she will be able to help you more. Plus, most kids know you go to time out for a reason and can't play or talk to others when you are in time out. It will give you your space without making them feel like they did something to make you mad.
They will have a hard time when your leave is over and you have to go back to work. My husband had to promise he would come home before dinner time in order to get my 4 yo old to stop crying when he went back to work. Everyone had changed. Be patient and communicate. They love you and you love them, let that be the guiding force behind your actions.
mustangsally76
It usually takes my husband a good 2-3 weeks to reintegrate back into family life. We take it slowly, one step at a time. My son understands that daddy needs time to readjust just like WE need time to readjust to him being home. There is NO WAY any man could be expected to automatically be father of the year again. That is unreasonable.
When my husband comes home it takes him a good week just to be able to sleep comfortably in the same bed as me. He wakes up constantly thinking he hears mortars. I can't imagine what he goes through..I just give him time....
From the wife Point of view---She has been alone for lord knows how long, she's tired, she's had no time to herself since you left, espcieally with children. Maybe she needs a break as badly as you do!
Hopeful
You need time to readjust. your family should understand
Anonymous
Sounds like someone needs a hug...