Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following?
:
* Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
* Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end
& a fool on the other.
* Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of
the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through
\"the
minds of either\"
* Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.
* Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest Piece.
* Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water power.
* Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
* Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.
* Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
* Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
* Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.
* Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth