How can my ministry group prevent this from happening again?

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I honestly think hospitals are the best idea. Virtually all baby deaths end up at a hospital, but not all end up at funeral homes. There's a lot of options regarding how to handle a child who's already died, but a death certificate has to be written up, and death can only be officially proclaimed by a doctor. Also, cause of death has to be taken into consideration. Hospitals are almost exclusively the end result for deaths at any age.

Hospitals also virtually always have social workers and volunteers. Probably best person to talk to in person is the front desk person for the regular hospital entrance, Not the ER. Also, there's likely a general purpose line for the hospital if you want to call, ask for "Social services."

The vast majority of the time, the hospital attempts to help the family deal with death, particularly in case of the death of a young child. If you offer your gowns to the social services department of the hospital, you can be virtually guaranteed they'll be given away for free (hospitals also do a LOT of free services, such as volunteers, free medication provided from patient assistance programs, and various services from within the social services department).

You may want to just give the gowns to the hospital, or you may want to give your number. If just the number, clarify you're giving the gowns away completely for free, with no strings attached, and the only reason you're not giving them the gowns is you'd like the parents to have the chance to customize the child's clothing (like request a specific color or somesuch). Reason for that is hospitals are usually very suspicious of people trying to take advantage of a distraught family. Sadly, that sort of thing is fairly common.

I worked in a patient assistance program, as a customer service rep, so I've spent Many hours speaking with the social workers for the hospitals and larger doctor's offices. Sometimes they share stories, and some people have pulled nasty things. Hospitals usually are good about referring people to charity things, but often don't mention things that cost money. If they get even the faintest idea that you'll charge for the gowns in some fashion, there's a good chance they'll ignore you if you just give your number.

That is my full, complete, unabridged suggestion :P...Show more

I'd get a contract that spells out that they cannot charge for them.

Edit: Okay, thinking a little more, I don't know how opposed you really are to the concept of charging something for the clothes - I mean, it's not like the clothes aren't already being sold, it's just that you don't get any of the money. What I might try is this: sell them (get contracts, at least you would want to get a feel for what they funeral home is charging), give the profits (or revenues) to whatever other cause you see fit. Meanwhile, sew your labels in there and put a phone number on it. If somebody contacts you, you can be pretty sure they're just trying to get a better price and just give them the gowns directly (and you might want to keep that...from the funeral homes. In fact, you may actually want to GIVE a different style or color from the gowns you sell to the funeral homes, that way the homes won't get angry that you're undercutting them (but you kind of are and they will see the kid in the gown)). Good luck.

Also, don't go in thinking you can't sue, go in thinking you probably won't have to - but that you want some control over the distribution....Show more

The contract ideas are good ones, even if you don't have any intention of suing. Also, definitely contact your state funeral association, as another poster suggested. At the very least, this is an obviously unethical practice.

In regards to giving the gowns to the hospital instead of the funeral home, definitely give a call to the Pastoral Care departments of any or all of your local hospitals. Someone there will be happy to help you! They may be very willing to accept the gowns on behalf of parents ans see that they reach their intended recipients for free, and they'll probably also be able to get the word out to many local clergy people that your group is offering this service.

Many blessings......Show more

What about printing tags to go with the gowns? Something like:

"This gown has been made available at no cost by ________
If you have been charged for this garment please call ______"

I don't know. It could also be a means to make contact with grieving families who might be looking for support in time of need. The group I used to be in made a special point of arranging meals for new parents or families that had recently had a death or disability. It's amazing how people respond to the idea of having a free meal dropped off once a day or a couple times a week - no pressure, just "here you go, hope you're doing ok."

Of course nothing keeps the funeral home from discarding the tag, but it's a thought.

Peace to you....Show more

Oh wow, ecterbob! My blood is boiling after reading your post!

Wish I was there to be your spokeswoman. I would visit the funeral home and speak to the owner. Adamantly explain to them the purpose of making and donating the gowns was done out of Christian love and charity for grieving parents. NOT as a means of profit for them. There is a time when Christians have to take a stand for what is right. Then say you hope to never hear of them selling your gifts again. There would be no need for an actual threat. I think they would get the message.

Another means may be to contact the local hospital Chaplins. Let them know about the gowns. Possibly you could give the gowns directly to the parents.

What a beautiful gift your group is creating. Breaks my heart to think it would be abused so terribly.

(((ecterbob)))

EDIT: After reading Dr. Tommy Skelton's answer, I feel he probably has the best solution. You see sweetie, Kychick has a bit of a temper. :(...Show more