My son is 6 years old, ready to turn 7 in May. He just started recently this bad behavior. Nothing has changed in life that would make it tramatic to him. He started out very well in school in the beginning. He was getting 90`s. Then about 2 months into it he decided not to do his work and talk and goof off and His grades went down. He had a tonsilectomy and had his adnoids removed due to sleep apnea. When he went back to school and was doing better again. A couple months later (now) he is back in the same behavior again. At home he has snuck candy when we were sleeping and ate so much he threw up. He peed on my bathroom carpet on purpose. He doesnt listen or do what he is told. The teachers say he doesnt follow directions and he doesnt pay attention. I have divorced his father 3 years ago due to physical abuse. He has a younger sister who is 4. I have tried taking his stuff away, punishing him, making him earn things back and rewarding him when he is good..chuck e cheeses..ect. HELP
Anonymous2008-04-04T16:02:36Z
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You said nothing had changed...yet you list changes both recent and in the past.
It sounds like your son is seeking attention is a serious way. It follows the time line well, his "love bank account" with you was full because he was home all summer and did fine in the beginning of school. He acted out until he had his adnoids out, to which I am sure you played nurse to some extent and he got his attention and another debit in his bank account. Back to school and his account gets credited every time a negative encounter happens, leading to misbehavior when it is overdrawn.
I would suggest setting up a one on one time during the week when it is all about your son, not because he behaved but just because he is precious and loved by you. Also, a daily 5 minute quality time can truly help taek the edge off during the week. Make sure you are100% with him when these times happen, it will help them be effective.
I have a few ideas. You need to be really honest about any changes that have occurred in your lives. Has anyone moved into your house or moved out? Visitation with his father? Are you spending less time with him? Sometimes things that you think are insignificant effect a child's emotions deeply. Spend time talking to him (not when there is a conflict) and see what's going on in his world. My son and I have the best talks in the car. Also I would speak to his pediatrician about testing his hearing and vision. (JIK) Then talk to his teacher about testing at school for learning disabilities and giftedness. When my son started school he was so happy at first (just to be with a bunch of other kids) he was doing great with his work, but after a few months of repeating the same stuff over and over he got really frustrated and would come home crying. Maybe your son is a heck of a lot smarter than you know, but he is not being challenged and has no outlet. There are plenty of resources out there in your school and library to get challenging material for him. Communication is the key here. Ask him why he's upset or acting out and then listen carefully. Don't shout or wine or put a guilt trip on him. He might not participate with you at first, but he'll come around. Don't bribe him or blackmale him into good behavior. Let him learn by your example. "We talk to express our emotions (good and bad) we are resposible because it's the right thing to do." Good behavior should be it's own reward. .. . good luck to you! Reach out for help
I really beleive it is normal for the age group. Everyone I know has talked about the terrible 2/3's and then how things were good until 6/7....I am going through the same with my 7 yr old and have seen other post on here about it also.
I think part of it is to show the independ]ce they are gaining. Another part is the kids they are in classes with...they puck up the worst behavior habits from friends opposed to the best.
From my experience...taking things away, grounding, early bed times, time outs, spankings, no snacks etc have no effect.
Just be consistant with him, be clear on what is appropriate and not appropriate behavior and do not give in.
Gotta go take care of mine now, they are jumping like elephants and know that is not allowed in the house.Good luck
ask him why hes acting like a little jerk. His behavior could be revenge for something he feels aginst you. And dont panic its probably nothing you did as much as something hes blaming you for. As for the candy thing, dont make candy a big deal, only have as much as you want him to eat in the house. I dont mean give him it all but that way ifhe gets it it wont be a problem. Dont hide it or make it a big thing that its here but YOU CANT EAT IT! Thats setting him up. At school I bet its someone he is hanging out with. Dont go looking to blame someone thatwill only make him defend his friends, or give him an excuse for being naughty, as in its not my fault.... Everyone is responsible for his own behavior. In my opinion being good shouldnt be rewarded unless it was something beyond normal behavior. Im sorry I could go on and on I just think that bad behavior isnt something you cant control. You are the Mom, you are the boss, he is a child, he is not the boss.