"Are you anti-school?" or any other question that boils down to that.
I'm directing this to parents who are ARE pretty much anti-school or at least anti-the-system-we-have and don't think it's the best option for any child.
Do you come over all PC and say it depends on the individual? Do you vary your answer depending on who is asking, like trying not to upset friends and family but telling strangers what you really think?
Please, no answers from anti-HE posters, kids, or even parents who aren't "anti-school", I want to know how people deal with this rather tricky social situation.
hsfromthestart2008-06-12T19:43:43Z
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You know I can't say that I've ever been asked that question, but I know from the many other questions that I've been asked about homeschooling, I do vary the answer according to the person asking the question and my mood (am I just wanting peace at the moment, in a hurry to get somewhere, trying to avoid conflict, or in a mood to lay it on the line and say it like it is, in a mood to try to shake up someone's thinking or to just let it pass?).
I've found that most people who ask questions about what I think don't really want to know what I think. They want to pass the time. Or are expecting to somehow set me straight and change my thinking. I've found that it is rarely worth my while to fully explain my views, since I've usually just wasted my time and energy, or worse yet, caused someone to see me as a person who needs to be re-educated.
I am not anti-school per se, but I am anti the whole UK education system and the awful National Curriculum.
I am not being PC by saying that it does depend on the individual, because I genuinely believe that it does. It also depends on the school itself. My daughter was a model pupil at her junior school and really loved it. She started at our (4th choice) senior school and became more and more unhappy and disruptive, so she asked if she could be home-educated. She has been HE since last October after being at the school for just over a year and is a much more relaxed girl.
I think the National Curriculum is dreadful and I could not believe some of the rubbish she had been taught. My daughter likes history and we both found it very odd when she was learning about the Norman Conquest and then the following term learnt about American Indians. That was the only teaching they have on the medieval period. No mention of the Black Death or the Wars of the Roses etc. She wanted to know what happened in England after William I died, but no chance of learning that at school.
Now, we mainly do things that she enjoys and in a way that she enjoys, including subjects that were not on offer at her school. In an ideal world it would be great if all children could be HE but many parents are against the idea or can't be bothered or prefer to work full-time.
It is interesting that you refer to 'this rather tricky social situation'. I don't find it tricky at all - if anyone asks, I just tell them what I think and tough if they don't like it!
Personally, I am anti school/anti system and I don't really hide it. But I also don't belabor the point. And it DOES depend on the individual and no, I don't think it is PC to say so. Some people go through public school, get a good education and are well rounded citizens. It works for some, not others. Many people who send their kids to school are more apologetic to me when homeschooling is discussed. They explain why they DON'T home school their kids. Not everyone can do it, not everyone wants to do it, and not everyone SHOULD do it. We all have our opinions; and yes, I do vary my answers to the situation. I even encourage some people who decide that they will go to public school. That is their decision; once it is made it should be supported. We all have our reasons for doing what we do, we all have to make the best decisions for our families. Just because somebody else makes a different decision doesn't mean it is wrong. For me homeschooling is the decision. But if circumstances change, it is not inconceivable that I would send them to school.
I don't believe that the Public School system is the best environment for any child, but I also feel like for some its the best they'll get. What I mean is this, I have met some parents who are so uncaring, so unwilling to put the effort into homeschooling, or so mentally unstable that for that particular child I felt that Public School was preferable to spending all day at home.
But in general I do feel that the Public School environment is not great, and that the system itself promotes peer dependence, separation of family, undermining of parental authority, and poor academic results. So, while I wouldn't say I am "anti-school" I am certainly "anti- forced public school for everyone".
Anyway, I treat this like any other area, if a person asks me my honest opinion, and if I think that they are really interested in hearing it, not just trying to start an argument, I will tell them exactly what I believe about it. However, there are times when I don't say anything. For example, with a single mother in my church who has a very non-supportive ex-husband and family. She tried to homeschool but couldn't make it work out for her and put her son back in Public School. She is in a very difficult situation, and she did give it her best effort. To unload my entire opinion of Public School on her would just lay guilt on her for something she has no control over.
So how I answer the question depends somewhat on who is asking.
In our area I am pretty anti school, but I have a mother and mother in law, as well as many family friends who are public school teachers. It is these people who advised me to homeschool.
Teachers, parents, and even the government knows that no child left behind is not working and that the state testing we have here is a joke. So, for me it is relatively easy to argue my postion.
I have a long list of reasons as to why we homeschool, and if asked I can and will give them, but I don't attack others who choose differently, or who are unable to homeschool due to finances or family situations. I would never (as some public schoolers have done to me) go up to someone and aggressively question their educational choices for THEIR children, because in my opinion that is telling someone that I believe they don't know how to raise their children effectively on their own.
For your question about political correctness, I would say, for the family I have that disagrees with my position, I am the most PC. They don't get it. They will never get it. But then there are many values they hold for THEIR family that I will never understand or adhere to. For strangers, I am always polite, but straight forward. And because of this I have actually seen some people who swore they would NEVER homeschool, pull their children from public school and come back with questions about curriculum, outside activities and scheduling.
The biggest question I get asked is whether or not we intend to always homeschool. At this point my answer is yes, I think so, but even I admit that we will have to see. If we moved to an area that had better schools, if we became financially able to afford one of the better public schools, if homeschooling began to cause damage to our family because one of my children was rebellious and did not want to continue, then we might find a different option. If something happened in our lives that forced a dramatic change in our schedule or if something happened to me and I was physically unable to teach my children. Then, who knows. For now the answer I give is, it looks that way but we will have to see.