Breast cancer, prostrate cancer, obesity, diabetes, menopause. How much more fun can a 50ish couple have?
The cancer has stopped our sex life. The diabetes means having to take a basketful of expensive drugs, so doing things that cost money is rather out. Oh, and did I mention that our daughter and family are a boomarang family. What is the outlook?
The Original GarnetGlitter2008-07-01T08:38:19Z
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Okay Toots....I am 55, my hubby is 57 so I think we're qualified to answer this....
First, menopause is a normal & natural time in life...I'm dealing with it very well....the hot flashes are minor anoyances that I make light of, and since my overall health is exellent I have no real concerns besides it brings to many women a sense of freedom.....no possible pregnancies and not having to deal with another anoyance of female life...once a month.
However I am dealing with a form of rheumatoid-like arthritis....it has affected all my major joints.....even my fingers...but as you see I manage to use them well otherwise I wouldn't have typed this-right? There are things I can no longer do...my job, dancing, running (I used to jog 6miles 6x a week) getting up on my toes....painting ceilings.....gardening all day on my kness.....I used to bounce outta bed...now Pinochio has nothing on my wooden & painfull movements.
My husband has type two diabetes...we are managing it well......yes he's chubby....but I make sure his diet is balanced and that he doesn't over indulge...and his blood glucose levels are well within the guidlines that his dr has given......he is lucky that's all he's dealing with.
He also suffers from adult cystic acne.....and is heavily & extensively scarred all over his face & body, even down to his wrists and ankles from it, dispite medical intervention.
Now, I have an adult child living with us, who is re-cuperating from a major episode.....of bi-polar disorder. It has been difficult for all of us....this child has been out of work and on disability for almost three years...but is slowly, with the help of a good shrink, therapist,and her own intestinal fortitude, getting back on her feet......and she will over-come this speed bump in her life, as long as she continues on the positive path she's on. She's almost there, too. We offer her shelter, a support team emotionally..but she's taking care of her own business herself.
The diabetes, cancer, you deal with as best you can........menopause is no big 'Whoop' unless you make it one, and it doesn't last forever.......there are alternatives to consider to improve your sex life if you want it that badly....
As far as the 'boomarang daughter'....you're enabling her. She knows that screwing up her life is no big deal because Mommy & Daddy will always bail her out....all you are responsible for is to help support her AS LONG AS she also helps herself back on her feet....it can be done as I did it once. My ex walked out on me with 2 outta 4 kids still at home, a mortgage, bills, and only one month's worth in the bank to cover it. I hadn;t worked in over 20 years....I did it. My family helped me....to help myself. And I never once took public assistance.....and I did it practically alone for almost 10 years untill I met my hubby and the rheumatoid arthritis I have been dealing with since I was 28 forced me to retire from my job.....a commercial baker....that I managed to do well with all the heavy lifting dispite the RA..oh, no drug therapy, only aspirin, heat and using the cranky joints....
I kept a positive outlook...THAT is what kept me going.
Give into things as they are and you WILL knuckle under....fight it with everything you have inside....you may not come out of it as if it never touched your life, but your life will be better than it is by giving into anger or dispair.
There are no guarentees...all you can do is stack the deck as best you can in your favor.....so right now I'd say you're not doing anything mentally for that, therefore your outcome is less than rosy.
As far as your daughter...a good swift kick in the @ss is what she needs....'bought time you & your wife deliver one to her. Good luck.
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Within 5 years I got cancer, my mom died, my husband had bypass surgery, the last week of my oncology visit I got a different cancer back and was diagnosed the same week my Dad broke his leg. He went through 4 surgeries and I went through 3 surgeries in 2 months. Then while recovering in a nursing home they twisted his leg back under the wheel chair and popped the bolts out of his broken leg and rebroke it in 3 places. A month later he died while I am going through a years worth of chemo. A month ago my husband had a stint put in and I had my port out, at which time I found out that it had scarred the inside of my vein so blood no longer flows through it. My husband is bordering on diabetes and if I let it, life could really get me down......BUT.....we each have a choice of how we're going to handle what we're given. There are alot of people much worse then we are, then you are.
You have to decide what you want to do. There are alot of things that doesn't cost alot of money. There are alot of things to be thankful for. You're allowed to be sad because life is not easy, but you can CHOSE to handle it well.