Just how does a child cope with so well after being put up for adoption?
This just might sound strange. But my grandson that was put up for adoption without my son's consent is spending the month of July with his father and the rest of the family. My son stopped the adoption and is still fighting to bring his son home to be with his sister and my son. My son went to pick him up 3 states away and the child has adjusted perfect. He's 3 and never crys for the couple in fact when my son calls the couple so they can talk to the little boy. the child calls them by their first names and never crys to go home or anything. This is so strange to us because all of our other grandchildren would have been upset if kept away from their parents for over a week. I know I shouldn't be complaining for this is weird. It's going to kill my son to have to return him at the end of July. My son is just waiting for the court of appeals to over turn the custody to him since the jury couldn't find him unfit. The baby calls my son dad and get's along with his sister perfit.
2008-07-15T07:28:07Z
Now another question to go with this. This couple has had the little boy since birth his natural father din't find him or see him until the child was 16 months old. Why would he not be attached to the couple? Do u think that maybe children know that these are not the natural parents and that there are difference. This couple didn't have any children at the time now they do?
2008-07-15T21:28:18Z
I need to explain this a little more. My son gets to visit the baby once a month and he gets him for the whole month of july. July 31 he has to hand him back over to the couple and walk away, This is going to be so hard. We are just waiting for the court of appeals I pray that they do what is right and what should have happen from the very begining. I know that alot of you feel sorry for the couple but they were in the hospital when the father was begging everyone not to take his son. They even hid the child for 16 months even after all this my son would give this couple rights to see his child and to even visit.
MamaKate2008-07-15T13:30:24Z
Favorite Answer
Dear Sam,
I am so GLAD that your son his getting to spend this time with his child. I hope with all my heart that your family restored fully.
Children are not stupid nor are they trained seals. I am quite sure the bond you see is au natural and very genuine. Biology is stronger than many people give it credit for.
Hopefully the APs have been preparing for the possibility that your son will regain custody and have made some attempt to prepare your grandson as well as themselves. This may be where the 1st name thing comes from. IDK.
I would suggest that you document this behavior - FREQUENTLY while he is with your son this month. It may be beneficial in the future.
I'm followed. I've regularly recognized I was once followed. I met my birthmom while I was once sixteen, and my birthdad while I was once 18. I am very joyful that I was once submit for adoption. I had a unique lifestyles with loving moms and dads. My beginning mother bought an schooling and a exceptional activity. If she had stored me, she could have struggled. I now have two unique part sisters that I am very just about. In my case, I'd say matters labored out really good. Giving up your youngster in order that they may be able to have a larger lifestyles is most likely essentially the most selfless (the reverse of egocentric) factor you are going to ever do. You will cry, it'll holiday your center, you are going to believe approximately him/her and what would had been always. If you preserve him/her, you are going to surprise what your lifestyles could had been like if you happen to had opted for adoption. No topic what you make a decision, commonly you are going to remorse your resolution, commonly you are going to be grateful for something you probably did. There isn't any proper or unsuitable reply. As you will have most likely found out, that is an highly problematic resolution to make. I desire you and your youngster good. As to your boyfriend, he's similarly accountable for purchasing you into this role. He demands to both take a few accountability, otherwise you must surrender your self to the truth that you're going to most likely must carry this youngster for your possess. If he does not have a mystical epiphany and begin aiding you, I'd eliminate him. This is most likely essentially the most problematic factor you are going to ever must manage (I'm sorry you must do it at any such younger age). If your guy isn't going to be there for you in problematic occasions, what well is he? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, however it is most likely lovely correct.
You and I are in the same situation. My son lost his son to an adoption that he was unaware of and did not consent to. I feel so bad for these men. They are treated as if they don't exist and then treated badly if they try to be a father to their own children.
To answer the second part of your question. My son and I were able to meet with the adoptive parents and my son's son under the supervision of the adoption agency. We spent approximately 2 hrs with the little boy. The little boy and my son had a connection the moment that they met. When everyone was leaving the little boy went to my son to be picked up as if he expected to leave with him. I think that there is definitely some kind of biological connection that I can not explain.
It sounds to me that your grandson should be with his daddy for good. What is wrong with the courts?
That's wonderful that your son seems to be suceeding in getting his child back. I really can't tell you exactly what's going on with your grandson emotionally. I do know that, although there are permanant consequences to being separated from biological parents and I'm sure your grandson does sense his deep connection to your son, children DO usually attach to other caretakers. It could be that something unusual happened in this other family to prevent that attachment with them. Or, maybe you just aren't seeing the full reaction yet to what this little boy has been through. He may be in a "honeymooning" phase and not grieving for them yet. It may yet be a long road in this transition, even though you know it's the best thing long term. I hope everything is settled soon and that your family can move on with life with this little boy with you where he belongs.
I am so sorry that your son and grandson have had to go through this. Father's rights are so ignored and abused. Hopefully it will all work out for the best.
As far as the child calling the aparents by their first names though, they had to have learned that from someone one. They may have started doing this prior to leaving the home, because most kids around that age do that, even biological kids. For them to keep that up while staying with your son, it's probably because they are not being corrected when they do that. I don't blame you for not correcting them though.
Good luck to you all, especially that little boy.
ETA: You are speaking of a couple who has been fighting your son, this child's natural father, who had his rights completely ignored. Not to be rude, but is it really all that difficult to understand why there may be problems with the child and the aparents? If they are as cold to this child, as they are to your son, it's no wonder the child isn't screaming to go 'home'.
OR, maybe the aparents have done a good job with teaching him that he has room in his heart for more people.
Does this mean that all adopted kids would feel this way if removed from the home after 3 years? Not a chance.