Why did you choose international over domestic adoption?
If you are not an international adoptive parent or are not in the process of becoming one, please DO NOT ANSWER! I'm not interested in the "why adoption is bad" stuff...
I have never considered domestic adoption myself. My first experience of adoption was through foster care, and that is still where I see the largest need, and the only place I would personally adopt from. I get slightly ill when I see celebreties bringing home "rainbow kids" when we have so many here that need love.
Still, I can't believe that all people who adopt internationally only have selfish reasons. I looked, but I didn't find an unbiassed question on WHY yet - at least not anytime recently. So I ask you - why was international adoption the way you chose?
2008-08-24T09:23:26Z
There are a couple of answers that I would like to address. Normally I would do this over e-mail but I was unable.
Respecting your current children is a WONDERFUL consideration, and I can see why you chose international adoption. While I think some families can make foster-adoption work with current children, it does no one any good if the parents are not up to it. Then you just end up with more injurred children.
As to the other, I didn't say that I was unbiassed, only that I didn't want to ask a question that was deliberately meant to snare someone. I do get sick when celebreties do so much IA because I suppose to me it feels like they're not taking it seriously. I suppose I don't feel many celebreties take parenting of any sort all the seriously, so when they make families that are so PR, it just makes me groan. Now that I think of it, it isn't really a rational reaction, but it is what's in my gut.
I want to thank everyone who has answered so far. I AM learning
Jennifer L2008-08-24T07:34:42Z
Favorite Answer
When we decided to adopt, we looked at all three avenues of adoption very carefully: domestic infant adoption,foster care adoption and international adoption. We made our decision to adopt overseas after a lot of research on every factor we could come up with, speaking to many different sources (agencies, adoptive parents, adoptees, state services) and a good deal of soul searching.
In the end, we determined that IA was best for our family. It was an informed and carefully made decision. I can tell you also things that did not factor into our decision: We did not do it to create a "rainbow family", we did not do it because we want to be like some movie star on a talk show, we did not do it because we wanted to adopt an infant, we did not do it because we didn't want to mess with "birth mama drama", we did not do it because we wanted to "save" a child to feel better about ourselves. (get the point here?)
Personally, that statement "Why adopt overseas when there are so many children here that need adoption" kinda makes ME ill. There are children all over the world that need homes. Why do YOU think that US children somehow deserve those homes more than children not born in the US? Foster care adoption isn't for everyone and we determined that at this point in our lives, it wasn't for us. But because of our decision to adopt overseas, two school age children (not infants!) who didn't have a home, have one now.
If you choose to adopt from foster care, I wish you the best of luck in your experiences. I'm not going to berate you for choosing to adopt from foster care instead of adopting a child from overseas, because ALL children deserve a home. If your decision provides a home for a child that needs one, then I support your decision. From whatever route of adoption you choose.
Okay, well I'm not an international adoptive parent nor am I in the process of becoming one... BUT we do plan on adopting internationally within the next 5 years. My main reason for adopting internationally is the wait time. I don't care about the age but my partner wants to adopt a baby or at least under 3. Adopting a child of that age domestically (Canad) takes a long time - you can wait for years to even have a bio parent look at your profile. With international adoptions, you can often have a child home within a year of starting the process. The other reason is probably a silly one, but I've heard too many horror stories of birth parents coming back and trying to take their kids back. This happened in my parents' city a few years ago even after the two sisters lived for 8 years with this new family. The biological parents won. (How is that in the best interest of the children?!) Anyway, those may not be legit reasons, but they're MY reasons for adopting internationally.
Okay, well I'm not an international adoptive parent nor am I in the process of becoming one... BUT we do plan on adopting internationally within the next 5 years.
My main reason for adopting internationally is the wait time. I don't care about the age but my partner wants to adopt a baby or at least under 3. Adopting a child of that age domestically (Canad) takes a long time - you can wait for years to even have a bio parent look at your profile. With international adoptions, you can often have a child home within a year of starting the process.
The other reason is probably a silly one, but I've heard too many horror stories of birth parents coming back and trying to take their kids back. This happened in my parents' city a few years ago even after the two sisters lived for 8 years with this new family. The biological parents won. (How is that in the best interest of the children?!)
Anyway, those may not be legit reasons, but they're MY reasons for adopting internationally.
We adopted internationally because when we tried to adopt through foster care the social worker would only approve us to adopt an infant or toddler because we were so young. Then also they didn't do transracial placements, which we didn't care about, but it meant we were on a long waiting list for a Caucasian infant. We wanted to adopt older children, any ethnicity.
We were thinking about just going ahead and having a baby the old-fashioned way (our second choice) when a friend suggested we look into adopting an older child or special needs child from overseas. We were referred a toddler with a whole bunch of health problems. He had been in an orphanage since shortly after he was born.
For our second adoption we tried foster care again, but this time they said that our son's medical problems required too much of our time and attention. They said we should foster instead, because then we could always give the children back if it was too much. While we wanted to foster later, we did want to adopt. So we went overseas again and adopted two older siblings.
We didn't choose the countries we did in order to have a rainbow family. We chose the countries based on where we thought we could have the most ethical adoption.
Among many other choices, adoptive parents must choose to adopt a child either domestically or internationally. With such an important decision to make, it is essential for adoptive couples to understand all available options and considerations in order to make the most informed decision possible.
In a domestic adoption, the adopted child is already a U.S. citizen. There are many options possible when considering a domestic adoption. A couple can either work with a licensed adoption agency or choose a private adoption through a physician, attorney, or adoption facilitator. Couples who choose a domestic adoption must also consider whether an open or closed adoption is best for the child and the family circumstances. Domestic adoptions may also occur within a state (intrastate) or between states (interstate).
International adoption involves taking in a child with a different nationality or citizenship than the adoptive parents. Because international adoption involves immigration, adoptive parents work with the Department of State as well as U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services in order to arrange for the child to be adopted and become a United States citizen. International adoption is becoming more common; the Department of State reports that over 11,000 children from other countries were adopted by Americans in 2010.
International adoption has a unique set of possibilities and concerns. First, it involves selecting a country and culture from which to adopt a child. International adoption also involves travel and learning about a different part of the world. Another thing to consider is that children from particular countries or regions may have special medical needs unique to that area. International adoption is also unique in that singles, as well as married couples, are able to apply to become adoptive parents.
Adopting a child is an important decision that requires much careful consideration. Are you contemplating adoption or are you already planning to adopt a child? Do you have any idea about how or where to start? Methodist Mission Home has made the adoption process simpler for parents who are considering adoption. Methodist Mission Home offers adoption services for birth mothers, birth fathers, adoptive families for children, and adoptees. They also provide other helpful services like supportive services, post adoption services, and much more. Methodist Mission Home is a national leader in open adoptions. Visit provplace.org today to learn more about adopting a child.