If your husband adopts your kids, what about divorce later?
I see a lot of moms asking how their husband can adopt their children. I'm sure in some ways this helps a family, but I wonder what happens if you later divorce. Would the child always go to the mother, even if the father would be a better parent? I think if I were in that situation I would want to be the sole legal parent just in case the marriage didn't work. I am happily married, but at the same time I know about half of all marriages end in divorce.
2008-08-28T22:50:32Z
I am just asking hypothetically because I see so many mom's asking about 2nd parent adoption. My husband and I adopted together, so if the marriage ever ended we would have normal custody issues. However, if I were in the situation of being the only legal parent, I would be reluctant to let my spouse adopt.
?2008-08-29T11:00:41Z
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The husband would be the legal father of the child rather than just a step-parent so would probably be entitled to at least joint custody. Also if it was in the child's best interests they could get sole custody. In most cases the mother would still retain custody for the majority of the time though. I think the advantages outway this risk as long as the birth father is dead or happy to relinquish their rights for some reason (not ideal but happens). It allows the father to have the same rights over the child as the mother and would help them to feel they were a "real" father. Also any subsequent children born would be full siblings rather than half siblings. My friend'd dad adopted her older brother who was his stepson from her mother's first marriage. The first husband ran off when her brother was a baby and he never came back. So he is biologically her half-brother but legally her full brother.
If the child was adopted by the co-parent, in the eyes of the legal system it would be the same as if the child was born to those two parents.
The custody procedures would be the same as for a biological child of the two people, and how the custody arrangement worked out would depend on the circumstances and the desires of those involved. Though custody arrangements generally do favour the mother, it wouldn't have to do with which parent was biological and which was adoptive.
If you want to remain the sole legal parent, the child can't be adopted by your spouse. The whole point of spousal adoption is for both to be the legal parents. Your husband can still treat your child as his own and love the child just as much, but from a legal standpoint, you should pursue adoption only if you're willing for your child to have a second legal parent-- because that would be the definition of this type of adoption.
If someone spouse adopts their child then it is no different then if the child had been born to them. That child is now legally the spouse child too. If that couple ever divorces it is no different then if they had natural children in their union and divorced. Custody would have to be decided, visitations, whoever did not have primary custody would have to pay child support. If the parents wanted to fight each other for custody then the judge would place the child with the parent that he felt was best. Unless the child was old enough to decide where he or she wanted to live primarily.
If you would be reluctant then you just wouldn't have your spouse legally adopt your child, that simple.
If the husband legally adopts his wife's children then he would have the same rights as a biological father. Often in divorce cases, either the mother gets custody and the father gets visitation, or there is joint custody, however an adoptive father wouldn't have less rights then the mother just because he isn't a biological parent and she is.
The husband would become a legal custodial parent. In the event of divorce, he would have every legal right to seek custody. I was adopted by my stepdad when I was 4. My parents never divorced, but he became my daddy. The child would be put with whomever the judged deemed the better parent.