This video clip from the ADOPTED, the movie really disturbed me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBydHpfIZnw
Do you feel more for the child or the parent?
2008-09-12T20:19:37Z
when I first saw this video, i couldn't process it - suddenly i was six years old again, feeling manipulated and confused.
and then i read all the comments below the video praising the woman and i just thought, is the world mad or am do i just live in a separate reality? why does this make me feel so bad?
a few days later i became an adult again and got very very angry with the woman.
and i posted it here to see how adoptive parents and adoptees felt about it as well.
everyone's comments were great and i can't decide, so i'm putting it up for vote.
thank you - i feel much better.
...2008-09-11T07:17:30Z
Favorite Answer
Okay, that about made me sick . SHE CHOSE to not have her daughter look like her. SHE HAS people who look like HER. He daughter doesn't.
She did a great job of making herself a victim. YUCK!
Poor kid!
ETA- I think what the daughter was trying to say, "It suck no one looks like me. I have no family traits to see in other" and the mom turned that in to: "I'm sad YOU don't look like me". She made it about herself. If the daughter had ehr other mother too, then not looking like her amom, wouldn't be the issue. It's NOT seeing her other mom. PERIOD!
I feel bad for the little girl. I agree that she took her daughter's pain and turned it into her own. As a parent it doesn't matter how you feel. Your child always comes first. At least she tried to tell her that she needs to take those feelings and find a better way of expressing them. It's sad this little girl wont know where she gets her face, but this lady needs to get over the fact she couldn't have a baby grow in her belly and be grateful she even has children. Focus on the fact that she was blessed with two beautiful daughters, not what they look like or where they came from. My mother adopted my sister and I. Then later had our little brother. There is no difference in the way or how much she loves us. This lady can't compare the two. She doesn't know. It's too bad that one day this little girl will her what her mother has said. :(
Wow, that woman really erks me with the way she twisted and manipulated her pain from her poor daughter acting out her perfecting understandable frustrations. I totally agree with Randy.
That quote disgusted me.
Instead of just trying to listen to her daughter and hug her and let her know you are there for her. She went oin and whined about " her " feelings. Wow lady, when you have kids adopted or not its not about you any more, it's about your children. Stop playing the victim part.
I am at a loss for words after watching that. Does she not realize that her child was crying out for her identity, and that she simply turned it around and made it about herself and about her own fertility issues? I honestly wonder if she was crying about her daughters feelings or crying about her own inability to have children. Honestly, this is a major problem with adoption for me....I don't understand why so many view adoption as a secondary to pregnancy. I see so many in here and elsewhere who say, "well, if I couldn't have my own child, I guess I might think about adoption". I am not advocating adoption, but I am saying that women who cannot have bio children need to be screened more properly, need to have more time to greive for their loss, more understanding of what adoption is and is not. I can't imagine being the achild to this woman. I cannot imagine how it feels to be runner up, to be the 'well, if I can't have everything I want in life, I will have to shrivel up and die or do the best I can' choice. I wonder what this little girls bio mother went through. I wonder why she was given up. I wonder if she doesn't wish every day of her life to see her daughters face.....very sad. <<adoptive mommy through foster care.
I don't often agree with Randy, but this time I second what he said! In fact, before I read the answers here, I commented on the video and what I wrote is very similar to what Randy said here.