Child Custody Case, Need Advice ?

I attended court today and the judge ordered both parties to have investigations involved, being we both have made claims about each other. All I was requesting was joint physical and legal custody, but, the Respondent is seeking full physical and legal custody. However, after further reviewing my case and all pertinent information in regards to this matter, I feel that it would be in the best interest of my son to be with me, his father. For many reasons that I would like to further discuss, that even the investigator him self was shell shocked to hear.

The Respondent is completely violent and an angry person.
A.She has a past history of using marijuana, speed, and other control substances
B.Has Been Domestically Violent towards me (I have police reports and pics of me scratched up)
C.Respondent is incapable of working and has not worked for 4 years
D.Respondent is unfit to take care herself, that is why she works as a prostitute And I have several emails of her soliciting for money. Saying she charges traveling and overnight charge
E.On several occasions Respondent would take her daughter on these trips, to go play hooker and be with guys, Such as Walt Disney World in Florida, and Sea World in San Diego, Ca, (I have emails to support this)
F.One incident she left her daughter home alone to go be with another guy, her daughter then left the house looking for her mother, to only be found several blocks away by a couple, cops were called (Police Report)
G.Respondent has a past history of violence with her daughters Father. (Police Reports)
H.Works as a stripper out of her surrounding cities, in Ca. Nickname Lily but does more "Prostitution" I know where this location is. .
I.Respondents daughter does not live with her mother because she is very much traumatized and afraid her mom will dump her off, to go be prostitute for the night, according to her own daughter.
J.I have witnessed Respondents interaction with her own daughter, and she yells and can be violent to her own daughter, threatening to spank her if she (daughter) does not listen to mother.
K.Respondent has already committed PERJURY by lying on County DCSS Income and Expense Declaration and being currently investigated by Attorney for my local city
L.Respondent has lied to receive Medi Cal Services in the county she resides and when in fact she did not need it. She lied about not owning a home, jaguar, property taxes, assets and income, All while knowing this is FRAUD in the State of California. (I have Property Tax info, Loan Docs and House Deed to support this) That she is does own a house. Docs she signed and is obligated for.
M. She has admitted to me that she smoked weed in her apartment while our son was in the other room, this occurred beginning of August.
N. She has not reported her income to the IRS for past three to four years, which says alot. She already has possibly FRAUD and PERJURY, But possibly Now TAX EVASION, .
O. She pays an estimated 45k in mortgage and property taxes and has a paid off Jag, but she does not work according to her Docs, Huge RED FLAG.
P. Her neighbors apartment has been raided twice for drugs, and yet they still sell drugs.

Being I know all of this she feels that she must bash me by making up false accusations about me, However, I am very well prepared and can support every single claim that I noted above. She on the other hand cannot, but merely do her best to make me look bad.

I feel it would just be in the best interest of my son to reside and live with me, I would strongly recommend anger management classes, domestic violent classes, and have her come to my city for supervised visits.

Should I go for Full Custody, while this is being investigated? I have two weeks before my next court date, I asked for joint, but maybe I should go full. What do you guys think, any advice would be great.

Diva-Ish2008-09-18T22:23:15Z

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Go for full. And give the reasons you stated above. Also, require that the respondent, mom, only have visitation until she is out of these situations and that she take anger management courses, too. Make her do the gamut... she will back off.

I got full custody of my children and my ex was actually a good dad at the time. But I proved to the courts that the man would leave in a heartbeat and really didn't want his children he only wanted to fight me on custody for leverage.

It is a common tactic but you need to play it, too.

Anonymous2016-04-05T03:27:44Z

I'm sorry to be a negative nancy, but if the father has any chance of getting custody of your daughter, you must have a bad past, or he must have a lot of money. If him having a lot of money is the case, then you don't have much of a chance of keeping sole custody to yourself. No judge in his right mind will give him sole custody regardless what the felony is, unless you have a REALLY bad past. If you do have a bad past get a lawyer. If he has a lot of money and you have a clean background, get a lawyer, you will end up making it up in child support anyway. It sounds like you think you're capable of raising the child, but as some1 else said, it really is best for the child to have both parents. If the father isn't a complete D-bag, then try joint-custody, that's how i was raised and i turned out okay:)

grneyedgrly2008-09-18T22:52:52Z

I was stuck in a similiar situation, and the best thing for you to do if you're not doing it already is to stay on the straight n' narrow, watch what you do, watch what you say and especially in front of your child. The judge doesn't take it too lightly when they speak to a child and the child says a parent is speaking bad about the other parent, even if the bad things being said are 110% true. I was like you, had evidence my ex was unfit to parent our son, and I took it all the way and was awarded custody. I proved him unfit to be a parent. If your child is school age, I'm assuming he/she is, go to ALL the school functions, make friends with the teachers, make your presence KNOWN, this way if they get an attorney involved with your child like they did with my son, YOU will have the upper hand. It will show you're responsible and capable. If your ex is truly the piece of sh*t that you're stating, then she probably won't be doing any of those things for her child. Keep on doing your thing. It's gonna be a long and rough road but it will be well worth it because it's for the welfare of your child. Keep dates of stuff that happens, hold on to police reports, and do all of that because although she is a piece of crap, the judge wants BOTH parents to be equally involved UNLESS one parent is a danger to the child. I suggest to take parenting classes, anger management, do drug testing, WHATEVER the court asks of you, you do it. This will look good for you especially if she doesn't do it. I wish you the best. I've been where you're at and I know how you feel.

letterstoheather2008-09-18T22:51:53Z

truth is, most parents of the last generation or two smoke pot, or drink from time to time. While i don't do either anymore, i don't think this is grounds for custody - unless your children are in the SAME room or the parent invites a minor child to join them in their substance abuse.

I would talk with the attorney. and also talk with the child. Does he want to live with you or his mother? Is he old enough in the eyes of the court to make this decision for himself? (you didn't mention his age). Sometimes the Judge will speak with children to ask them what their wishes might be.

Parents don't often think of the child's wishes.

Your ex's behavior isn't that great - she has low values, and likely low self-worth. Present your complaints to your legal counsel, and make sure you have witnesses who are willing to take the time out of their lives to testify against your ex... anyone can make up stores, but if there are witnesses, this helps.

take care and i hope things work out.

♥Jessica♥2008-09-18T22:26:20Z

You should go for full custody!! You have a very high chance of getting custody of your child.. I know this girl that posts ad's on craigslist and used to have me watching her kid 6 days a week!! Most prostitutes dont care about their kids.. They are addicted to money.. You have so much against her and its not just your word, You have proof.. And that gives you the leadway!! And also they are probably investigating her and you.. To see whats true and whats not.. To figure out who's more fit and what not.. Its part of the process so dont freak out.. Iv gone thru this.. If you ever need anyone to talk to.. Email me :]

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