Mothers are holidays hard on you?

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This will be the 41st Christmas without my son, who was lost to adoption (Michael B, they are lost to their mother and their natural families when they are lost to adoption. If they are found by someone else, that doesn't change the fact for us). It is difficult every year, and while reunion has changed it, it doesn't remove all the years without him. Because the Holidays are such a family time, I find myself wistful for my children as young, all of them, but I at least have memories of the ones that I raised.

Also, I have nine grandchildren, but the three that were born to my son will not be a part of the celebration at our home. Two of them still haven't a clue that I exist. One will share her holiday with her mother's family, since my son is also estranged from her. Adoption doesn't just change the dynamics of the first family, but all the progeny into infinity. It is a loss that lasts forever, and cannot be changed, even by reunion.

Adoption sucks all year, but during this family time of the year, the Son shaped hole caused by forced surrender for stranger adoption looms large! ...Show more

No because I am really pretty distracted by the busy-ness of the holidays. I miss my son most just out of the blue.For the most part I have had peace and no regrets about my decision. But once in a while, for no particular reason, I think about it and feel sad. So I just literally force myself to stop it and concentrate on how grateful I am that he was born and that a loving family had a place for him. I have two other children and I try to focus that extra love on them. I did the right thing. Sad feelings are very normal and they always pass....Show more

No. It is especially hard to deal with missing my child lost to adoption, regardless of holidays. And unlike suggested in another answer that the thought of the selfless act of giving him to another family should make those feelings of loss better, it doesn't....Show more

I know this is a question for mom's missing kids, but I felt compelled to answer it about my son:
My son's pain grows double EVERY holiday. He thinks about his mom alot at Christmas. We make an ornament every year for her (and one for my mom too who died a few years back). We put the ornament on our tree to remember them. I told him that someday he could put them all in a nice box and wrap it up really pretty with bows and he will be able to give it to her.
Trust me when I say, your kids are thinking about you and love you even if you are not there. ...Show more

My heart is going out to you. i would be getting married next year, and that i've got had rather comparable reviews with my fiance and his father and mom and grandparents. His paternal grandparents accused my fiance of continuously catering to my grandparents' desires, in no way helping them out whilst they mandatory it, and so on. nicely, we mounted that - we've not spoken to them in some years. i do no longer consult from his father and mom, the two, even even with the undeniable fact that he does in specific situations. the main extreme element to bear in mind is that now which you 2 are married, his first accountability is to you, to no longer his father and mom. i do no longer think of in-rules understand how no longer undemanding that's to devise the holiday journeys, on the grounds that there are 2 gadgets of kinfolk contributors in contact. She could be grateful which you're even attempting to compromise after the way she's acted. What you're able to be able to desire to do is tell her that she would be in a position to the two artwork with you adult adult males on installation the holiday journeys, or she would be in a position to no longer be seeing you 2 in any respect. the holiday journeys are efficient situations, and that they could desire to no longer be ruined using fact of egocentric, self-absorbed human beings. regardless of you do, stable luck in resolving this occasion....Show more