Please help,my son is looking at porn.?

I don't know what to say to my 11yr old son.On my computer you can see what has been looked up and I happened to come across a bunch of bad stuff,most of it was spelled wrong,but when you click on it,it will still bring up the site.Some of the things on there were 11yr old sex,teen porn,you tube porn,girls gone wild,free porn and a lot more.Our computer had crashed,so we had it repaired and I can't get the parental security back on.I have already told him that he is not aloud on the computer,except to do homework and I must be in the room.The thing is,he is here not by" himself",but kinda by himself sometimes.My boyfriend works swing shifts,so his sleeping habits are messed up and I can't take my son with me all the time.Without the parental lock,I can't keep him off when I not here.I knew that one day I would have to have the "talk" with my son,I just didn't expect it to be at 11yr old.I don't know what to say or how to say what I'm suppose to say.When I confronted him about what I had found he got really mad at me and he told me he didn't do it.I don't want to say the wrong thing and make him rebel and go do something stupid.He's not a bad kid and I don't let him run around like other kids in our town do.He get mad about that,but thats okay as long as I know that he is home and safe.I do let him do stuff,like go to school sports games,he can go to the rec.center and stuff like that.I just need to know what to say in this "talk" that I have to have with him.Somebody please help.Please don't post stupid coments or tell me that I am a bad mom.

Anonymous2008-12-06T11:36:14Z

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Hello ,

Actually ,you can't blame your son 100%. These type of things happen during their puberty period. Pray and thank god that your son isn't gay and have a little chat with him. Be open about sexuality. It's not something taboo. Let him use the computer. Tell him that you trust him and that he should not break your trust. In that way , he will think " WOW , what a cool mum I have " . Let him have some privacy.
But be stern and tell him that if he were to break your trust , then there will be consequences like no pocket money or grond him for a year or take away something dear to his heart .

Good luck and don't be too stressed (:

?2016-07-20T13:34:44Z

2

Mystical Illusions2008-12-06T10:13:57Z

Well I would say that between 11-13 is the age that boys start getting curious about this kind of thing. I'm pretty sure my son looked at some porn at that age, and I know for a fact that he has in the last year.

As far as what to tell him, that would depend greatly on your standards and beliefs. I'm sure some people would think I was a bad mom, but I didn't make a huge deal out of it with my son. I figure that if he's curious he's going to look, if not at home, then elsewhere. I did however have a talk to him about sex. I'm very open with both of my kids about things like this.

I talked to him about how he should wait till he's older and make sure it's with someone he cares about, etc. But I also told him how important safe sex was and that if he even thought he might want to have sex to let me know and I would give him condoms. I did the same with my daughter and she didn't end up having sex till she was 17, and it was with someone she cared deeply about. Some might say this is bad, but considering how things are today, I'm pretty proud of her. And she DID tell me and asked for protection.

But then, your son being 11, it might be just a little early for the sex talk. I guess it depends on his maturity.

Maybe you could just sit him down, let him know that you understand his being curious, but that you don't find it acceptable for him to be looking at porn and that if he does it again there will be consequences.

Wouldn't it be nice if children came with a parenting manual?

Good luck!

Mary2008-12-06T16:35:35Z

Several thoughts.

1.Put the computer in the living room. Watch what he is doing. Lock the computer so he can only watch it when you approve. Our internet provider has this feature.

2. Talk about sex to his ability. Do you know how many 13 year olds are fathers? Seriously.

3.http://www.4parents.gov/sexdevt/index.html

4. I do not think you are a bad parent. But living with a boyfriend is not the smartest thing in the world. It sets a bad example in my opinion.

5, Love him, be honest with him.

Good luck

?2008-12-06T10:05:25Z

Are you sure its just not your boyfriend looking at this material and then purposely spelling it wrong, trying to make it seem like it was your son.

Why dont you ask your son to spell the words. like as though you guys are having a spelling contest. THatd be a good way to find out if it was even him, first and foremost.

Sit him down and tell him. that you arent mad, but you want to talk about what he looks at and answer any questions he may have. he might feel more opened to disucssing this with you then, and then later you could explain why he shouldnt be looking at stuff like that and how it is for mommies and daddies to look at....

you will be fine.

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