She doesn't do h.w with the kids, feeds them spaghetti o's on a daily basis, and keeps them up late so she can go out to restaurant/bars. Now, her on and off boyfriend is emailing me and is recommending counseling for my fiance and his exwife. he asked that my fiance budget his money accordignly and should set aside $2,000. The on and off boyfeind feels that If my fiance and his exwife get counselign everythign will eb better for all of us. I feel that she should just stick to the agreement and maintain her side of the responsibilities as willw e, and everything will work out fine. Limited inetraction is the best policy becuase she is clearly not normal. Any thoughts?
Anonymous2008-12-08T13:14:18Z
$2000 for what? You should email the boyfriend back and tell him that it is not his place to recommend counseling for them. Explain to him that counseling or no counseling the custody agreement is very clear on who is responsible for paying what and that it is none of his business how your fiance budgets his money as long as the kids are taken care of and he meets his financial obligations. Tell him that as far as you are concerned your interaction with them (the ex and boyfriend) is nothing more than a business agreement and the terms are spelled out in the decree. If he has a problem with that then he should take it to a judge.
Where are they getting the money for this counseling if they can't even pay the kids' medical bills?!
I agree- limited interaction is best as long as all parties are kept up with their payments and kept informed on the kids well being, schooling, etc.
About the spaghetti oh's...as long as they're fed, no judge is going to worry about them eating spaghetti oh's so I wouldn't mention that because it will make you look bad (to a judge, I understand your concern though). Keep track of the missed assignments and homework and grades as a result of being with their mother and use it to fight her for custody.
Records and details are your friend! Print copies of all of the checks that you write (school, child support, medical, etc.), receipts you get, etc. Also keep detailed records of when you have the kids, how long, why, etc. This will all come in handy some day- I learned that the hard way!
to weird i don't understand why your fiance has to be involved with her acting that way and why he would need to go to counseling if there isn't anything there between them anymore. she needs to go on her own. or quit drinking and take care of the kids. she needs the help not your fiance. my thoughts have always been not to marry someone with kids because the ex wife will always be in the middle. good luck to you
I suppose you could.... cut the brake cable under her car. poison her coffee, or push her down the stairs, but that would be too much. So just take to court and have the judge sort it out, or take marriage counseling to resolve the problem