Need some really funny jokes?10 easy points to best joke.?

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u want jokes? look no further than this guy...
http://answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_ylt=AiebzDJmZAb6IKSdWM41ZPk8.Bd.;_ylv=3?show=zE2hOt64aa

his questions have jokes...he just posted some few hours back...Show more

Blonde Cookbook

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY: Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY: Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy).For some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with chocolate moose....Show more

Successful Sons

Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call.

The other three were discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful, in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, the three smugly tell him that they have been discussing how successful their progeny are, and ask what line of work his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased how my son has turned out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay."

As the other three recoil in horror, he continues, "but on the bright side, he must be good at what he does, because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two new cars, and a big stock portfolio."...Show more

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jackasses, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

Two friends talking:
Hey i get married!
Oh, thats good!
No, thats bad, shes ugly!
Oh, thats bad!
Oh, thats good,shes rich!
Oh, thats good!
No, thats bad, she dont give me a cent!
Oh, thats bad!
No, thats good, she bought me a big house!
Oh, thats good!
No, thats bad, the house burnt down!
Oh, thats bad!
No, thats good, she was in it....Show more

how did the man feel when a pop machine fell on him?
Soda-pressed.
What do you call a snake with Grandchildren?
Nanaconda....Show more