I would like to know, from adoptees only, how you feel about the phrase, "gotcha day". "Gotcha Day" is a relatively new catch phrase, which is another phrase/word for the day your adoptive parents "got you". Some a p's even have a celebration of that day. I will add my thoughts later.
Lillie
Favorite Answer
Oh Sweet Jesus on a Dora bike.
Nothing causes the green acidic bile to rise in my throat more than that phrase. Well, maybe "Anyhoo!!!" But that's not really related to this question, so...
When I first heard that phrase, my mind conjured up an image of a pair of joyful AP's standing in a foreign orphanage as a group of children ran by and the AP's reached out and grabbed one by the arm and yelled "Gotcha!!"
Like they were snatching up a kid.
It feels...I don't know, really really selfish. Like, "neener neener neeeeeener!"
And totally dismissive of the child's past and origins.
I don't know. It just seems really distasteful and infantile and, well,
ICK.
Thank GOD my aparents never uttered that word in my presence.
Anonymous
I'm thinking that "Gotcha Day" was dreamed up by some well meaning, although misdirected, adoptive parents who were trying to send the message to the adopted child that they are glad they are glad the child has joined their family. That being said, I'm glad that phrase wasn't a part of my growing up years. As a child, I always felt like an outsider to the family, was constantly told that I should be greatful that they "took me in" and felt abandoned by my birth mother. I was often told "if you don't like it here you can go live in the gutter with your real mother." Nice, real nice! So why would I want a specific day to serve as another reminder that I was a misfit? Besides, in my mind, "gotcha day" seens have the conotation that the child is an object, like a toy or gadget, instead of a family member. How about calling it "became day", as in "the day you became part of our family", or something like that?
SJM
I think I'll pass on the celebration.
I am aware of which calendar day I was brought home. I still have the note from the adoption agency informing my aparents they had a little girl waiting. Thank the gods we didn't engage in a formal celebration of the day. In fact, it was never discussed on that day.
As for the phrase, it's insulting. I don't know what else to call it. If my parents would have come up with some notion like that, I'm the kind of ungrateful little b*****d who probably would have created a "dumptya day" come about the time I was 14 or 15. Thankfully, they had more tact than that. It saved all parties considerable grief later.
For the thumbs down: My bloodline includes exactly 212 years of Amishmen and 94 years of Mennonites. The art of shunning has been bred into my genetic composition. This is a factor that should be considered when contemplating adopting the child of a stranger. Ya just never know what you'll get. :)
redbaron1625
It isn't worth remembering. The only difference between my adoptive mom and my birth mom was money. They were both hateful and a waste of space. They both showed me how NOT to raise a child. I am a better person for it. I instead chose to honor the day I moved on and became an adult. I have had no contact whatsoever with either of them since. :)
almost human
the first time i saw this phrase in action was on youtube.
and i was horrified to see all the throngs of people descending on the infants and toddlers. they must have been overwhelmed enough as it is.
talk about over-stimulation...
gotcha is a horrible term. what insensitive boob thought that up?
we celebrated the day i arrived for several years as my coming to america day. my mom would ask what kind of cake i wanted. one year i told her i didn't like cake, so we never had it again. this is the way in which we communicated.
i love cake, btw.