I'm Jewish and I don't celebrate any Jewish holidays, does that make me a bad Jew?
Okay, so I never had a bat mitzvah, don't go to Sunday school (I tried but wasn't dedicated), and I don't celebrate Jewish holidays, except Hannukah sometimes. In fact, we open our presents on Xmas day. That's just how I was raised. My family and I still believe in God, I mean I love God, and I don't really believe that stuff about Jesus or whatever(please no one get mad at me or get offended, I'm REALLY not trying to offend anyone or disrespect anyone's religion), but does that make me a bad Jew? I know that people follow religion and all, but really we just don't feel like celebrating Jewish holidays. To me, school is important, and I don't want to miss it because of holiday(except when we have to AKA winter break). I have a friend who's Jewish, and me and her were discussing Jewish stuff and she told me "Are you going to have a bat mitzvah?" and I said "No. I didn't like SUnday School." and she said, "Valerie! That's bad." And she kept on telling me that it was bad if I didn't do this or that, and it kind of made me angry. That's just how I was raised by my family. When I get older and, if I ever have children, I plan on expressing more of my religion and going to Temple and ect. Also, my family is big, and going to Temple costs money. It's the last thing on our list. Am I a bad Jew?
Btw if I offended anyone I'm sorry.
emagidson2008-12-23T16:05:34Z
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Offended? Hardly! I think this is one of the the best FIVE questions on Yahoo Answers I have ever seen.
You can go to synagogue without paying. I have. No one checks. :) No collection every week like in some churches.
You can go to study groups or classes, or just talk to other Jewish friends. NO PRESSURE> You are being exactly the kind of Jew that you want to be. The most important thing is that you feel Jewish.
And that you feel guilty! That is how every Jew feels. "Am I doing enough? Am I doing it right?" Every Jew from the pious Rabbi to the non-practicing person who open presents on Christmas thinks that. It is one of the miracles of our culture -- we have an internal "voice", a conscience, that won't let us alone.
I cherish your question and I promise you that you can be as Jewish as you want to be-- it's not about money. And you can do it whenever you decide to do it in your life.
I lived a completely secular life after my Bar Mitzvah, and about 10 years ago decided to dig in. Now I'm an educator and boy, is there ever a lot to learn! But thanks to years of study of other religions, I know comparative religion, Christian art, and bible stories as well as anyone.
Your friend ... ay well loves her Judaism like a warm blanket and it is painful for her to think of you without that warmth. Be patient with her. Maybe show her this question and all the answers.
Your Life is what YOU make it.
Enjoy, and Happy Hannukah. I hope in the coming year you find the time for one or two visits to a synagogue (many call it "shul shopping") to see if what they are doing appeals to you.
Firstly, nobody, not even the wonderful people on this forum, has the right to tell you you're a bad Jew. Actually, I don't believe there is such a thing.
There are bored Jews, ignorant Jews, lazy Jews and non-practicing Jews, but none of those are bad Jews. (Maybe if you ripped off a few billion dollars from a few thousand investors, we'd call you a bad Jew).
The most important thing about being Jewish is to try a little more today than you did yesterday. That means, keep learning a bit. Try do another good deed each day or even each month.
It's Chanukah right now, try light some Chanukah candles. Use the Internet to read more about your Judaism.
Don't get hung up about the Batmitzvah, it's not a make-it-or-break-it for being Jewish.
What I would suggest is finding a Temple that doesn't base itself on paying members. Judaism shouldn't come with a price. I am sure, if you look around, you will find a Temple (shul) that does not charge for membership. You will probably also find that the rabbi and rebbetzin there will be friendly and approachable.
You're just a non practicing Jew. You haven't ever learned about the deeper meanings behind the holidays and so they hold no significance for you. If you ever want to learn, the knowledge is out there waiting.
You seem like a really sweet person, and in my opinion your Jewish soul is clearly and shining brightly, bringing light to the world through your kindness. Look how many times you said you didn't want to offend anyone! So you must be a very kind person. Don't let anyone tell you you're a bad Jew, that's ridiculous. When something sparks you to learn more, you will.
EDIT: Trish, it does cost extra at most synagogues whether they are Reform, Conservative, or Orthodox, to purchase seats for the High Holy Days. It can run into a great deal of money, depending on how many seats you need. Several hundred dollars to thousands. HOWEVER, many synagogues will help out those who cannot afford them.
The last couple of years there have been a few Orthodox synagogues and I think a Reform synagogue which have been advertising through the Jewish world that they are fed up with the practice and are allowing Jews to have seats for the High Holidays for free. Which is very nice.
As for the yearly membership feel, this is can be done on a sliding scale for those who can't pay full price, at most synagogues that I've ever known of, of all branches, just to let the Asker know that, in case she didn't.
I don't know about you (the Asker), but reading all these lovely responses makes me feel so happy to be part of a community that can produce such acceptance and understanding alongside encouragement and invitation to a more observant life.
We Jews come in many different shapes and forms and manners of observance. The very fact that you're thinking about how you'd want to do things if you have children is a mark of how very Jewish you are in your soul. My hunch is that if you find the sort of Judaism that really touches you, a lot could happen. When the time is right...... And meanwhile, no need for guilt!! You don't need a bat mitzvah ceremony to become bat mitzvah - that happens regardless when you reach the appropriate age.
It sounds to me like you are one of the most devoted Jews there are. Some orthodox Jews are angry and mean, and some reform Jews are faithful and kind. not celebrating Jewish holidays certainly doesn't make you a bad Jew, it just makes you a reform Jew! If I am not mistaken, reform Jews understand and believe in Judaism, they just think that their modern lives are the number 1 priority, which is totally ok. Everyone has their own set of rules and way of life, and just the fact that you want to make sure that you are not a "bad Jew" proves that you are a GOOD Jew: someone who works hard to make things right and be the best they can be.