my 19 yr old college son ruined christmas. we bought him a 650.00 laptop and he is saying that he wanted a mac notebook. i can not afford a mac notebook. he would not even be around the family yesterday. i am so fed up with his crap! this is the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. we are not wealthy but usually spend about 500-600 dollars on each of our kids for xmas. he says that I ruined christmas. i am at a complete loss. he was diagnosed with crohns disease when he was 14. his medication was changed about a year ago and he started to feel better.before that he just hung out at home. a year ago while being a senior in high school he started to smoke pot and hang around questionable kids. he did graduate barely and went off to college. we have gotten parent loans to help him in college. i have tried to give my children the opportunities that i never had. he does not appreciate anything i do. i know that i have babied him because of his illness. i do not know what to do. i am ready to kick his butt out. i want to return the gifts, but i am afraid that i may loose him forever. i am a mother that needs some help on how to deal with an ungrateful 19 year old. HELP
Anonymous2008-12-26T07:24:54Z
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Okay, listen. He didn't "ruin" Christmas. He made it less enjoyable for you. And you didn't "ruin" Christmas. You made him upset on the day. He is lucky he even got anything and tell him if he wants a Mac Notebook he can return the computer you spent time getting for him and return it and use that 650$ and some of HIS money to buy himself one. No one deserves to be treated like sh!t by a 19 year old a$shole.
He sounds very spoiled and ungrateful. You can't let him get away with treating you this way. Take it away from him! You will not lose your son forever for doing this,yes, he will be mad at you for a long time, but not forever. Take it back to the store and get a refund, tell him to get a job and let him come up with the rest of the money if he wants a MAC, if you must, you can give him the money from your refund towards it. This way at least he learns a small lesson. Although if it were my kid, i would take it back , get the refund and donate the money in his name to a charity. Obviously your son knows how to play you, he knows you treat him nicer because of his illness. Maybe use the refund for a down payment on an apt, let him go, see how well he lives without you doing everything for him, you'll see him running home crying for Mommy. Please don't let him get away with this, he needs some hard lessons and tough love here, its a perfect opportunity. You are doing him a great disservice letting him get away with it. All his life he will think he can get whatever he wants by being manipulative or mean spirited. Put a stop to it now. Good luck!
Christmas is a time for big expectations followed by big let downs for kids. This one A 19 year old wanting a MacBook should have been told that the family can not afford such an expensive one if you knew he was expecting that one. Otherwise HE needs to either take it back himself or keep it.He is very ungrateful to you and you should not HAVE to please him. He is not a child anymore. My son wanted a top of the line computer for Christmas and I said I can't afford it. He accepted that.He is 20 and also a college student.
All teens go through a tought time at their age. I would of been so happy If I got a brand new laptop! I hate macs lol. Just say to him be greatful with what you got and also say not alot of people get laptops for christmas!!! I wanted to buy a laptop funily today for about 600 dollars and when I got there they sold the last one! Because I saved up the money from my bank with the interest I have made with the money. Anyways If he don't want it send it to me! LOL nah kidding just take it back and calm down. Hes your son you have to love him no matter what.
It makes me sad that you think that returning the gift that your son doesn't appreciate will make you lose him forever. He clearly needs a lesson in my opinion. If i ever did something like that to my mother that would have been the last gift for years and i would have been slapped hard just for saying this. You did your best to bring him a gift, he clearly cannot see past his desires.
Him being sick doesn't give him the right to treat his parents disrespectfully. You might want to see professional advice but if you want come non-professional advice you need to express your anger and punish him for his actions. He will probably be surprised by the sudden change but it might do him some good. Return the laptop or you can always go No tv, no pc and curfew: it always seem to make kids think more abotu what they did.
If you want to change your son's attitude you will have to change the way you behave towards him. If you love him you will do whats best for him and generally what kids want and whats best for them a 2 very different things.