I don't entirely understand how that happened... why people often automatically think a mother should consider placing her baby for adoption because of her age?
Both of my grandmothers had babies before they turned 20. They were both married, and I understand why unwed pregnancy became stigmatized, but no one blinked at these women's age. They were from totally different cultures, but no one in either culture questioned their "teen pregnancies." For most of history, this was the case.
So what exactly changed? When did the teen years become "too young"?
Is it because age of marriage has gotten later, and teens are now assumed to be unwed-- so it's really an unmarried thing? Is it because college/university education has become a basic requirement for more and more jobs, and it's assumed a mother can't get an education? Is it because people are more and more considering adolescence a unique stage of life, whereas for much of history the world was pretty much considered to be divided into children and adults?
Why are teens considered too young to parent? Why are they often pressured/expected to give their children up for adoption? When did the distinction start to be drawn between single mothers based on age, and why is that the cutoff point?
Thoughts?
2009-01-30T18:16:55Z
I'm actually well past my teen years myself. :-)
This is a general informational question about something I don't understand, not my own personal situation.
2009-01-30T18:23:51Z
Actually, one of my grandmothers DID complete a university degree. That isn't supposed to prove a point or anything-- I realize she had opportunities many other women of her generation didn't-- but credit where credit is due. ;-)
I do think the college/university thing has a lot to do with this, since it's become an expectation, not a luxury, even for people with lower incomes.
2009-01-30T18:26:42Z
I said I understand HOW unwed pregnancies became stigmatized-- because of the religious background of much of North America. I'm not saying that's how it SHOULD be.
I actually very much disagree with the stigma, so you don't have to convince me that unmarried and/or single folks can be good parents. I know they can.
mscrawdad2009-01-30T18:36:03Z
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It became an issue in the late 1800's when more and more teens began to refuse marriages negotiated by their parents. They wanted to choose their own husbands and they wanted to get an education and have careers. Basically, it started when women began to fight for the same rights men had at the time. Due to advances in medical technology humans live much longer and are healthier. Hence, women can give birth later in life and they CHOSE to take advantage of that. Soon after women began to take advantage of their new found freedoms, they soon found themselves pregnant and unmarried and the young men were under no obligation to be forced into marriage by the families involved. Unfortunately, the fallout of all of this new found freedom was the "old school" beliefs clashed with the younger generation and these young women were scorned for their "improper" behavior and rushed off to have their children and be rushed back home saying they had been to Europe for a year or caring for a sick great aunt. They still didn't have enough freedom to choose to keep the child if they wanted to. The parents forced adoption on them. That mentality led to the current trend of teens being "pressured" into giving up their children so that they could go on with their lives as previously planned. But, many teens are now refusing. The problem now is that your parents are legally responsible for you until you turn 18 and over the past 100 years laws have been implemented to protect children from abuse, such as working them, not educating them, etc. So, the parents are legally obligated to care for their children until they are 18.
So, the stigma with current teen pregnancies revolves around their inability to care for their babies without help from their parents and/or government social programs. If a teen is able to care for themself and their baby, they can petition the court to emancipate them, which makes them legally responsible for themselves. This results in taking away the social stigma and all is well. Adult tax payers simply do not want to pay for programs to raise babies, so they look down on anyone - not just teens that chooses to keep a child they cannot care for financially.
I believe accelerated educational programs and automatic emancipation laws for teen single moms would solve all of these issues. If you choose to have and keep a baby, then you are on your own and you are a functioning member of society and get the respect you deserve for choosing that path.
When your grandmothers were having babies there wasn't much for a woman to do with her life besides get married and start a family. Women rarely went to college and usually didn't work after they got married. Women didn't have babies out of wedlock as frequently. Furthermore a working class man with a high school education could get a decent job that would pay him enough to support a wife who did not work and a few kids.
None of these things are true anymore. The world is a different place. Having a baby in your teens means that many of the things that you could do with your life (that your grandmother couldn't, even if she wanted to) are no longer an option. And an education is more and more necessary to earn the income to raise a family.
Whats wrong with being an unmarried mother? Me and my partner are in our 20s and are in a commited life long relationship and planned our daughter. We are not religious and feel there is no need for us to get married. Its just not something we are interested in. Anyway i know this isnt your question but you said you can understand how unwed pregnancys became stigmatized and I dont understand how we should be stigmatized. We are just as good parents as any married couple. we dont need a peice of paper to show us that we are more then capable of raising a happy and healthy child. I think you touched on some very good reasons of how teenage moms got so stigmatised against. I think alot of it is because of what so many teenagers do these days. most teenagers drink and party when back in your grandparents day they didnt really do that. In our grandparents day people grew up alot faster then they do today. people judge teenage moms because they compare them to what most people in their age group are doing. They presume that because their 17 year old friends are all partying and drinking that they will want to do the same and so they are not responsible enough to have children. It is very sad for teenage parents that do a very good job raising their kides. It must be hard with so many people looking down on them when they dont deserve it.
Because Americas public education system is an absolute failure. These other countries that have low teen pregnancy rates have much better public education and teens there have more hope for a better future. As opposed to here in the states.
I do think though right now there is an epidemic of teen pregnancies as their have been over the past 10 years. The rate is increasing. I don't think it is "too young" to parent; however I think work should be done to PREVENT these pregnancies to start with.
I think the world is different from our grandmothers. The new generation is a different duck of kids living in a way different world.