We have been having some problems, i thought we were working them out. I didn't really expect him to move out. Has anyone ever been through this? Any advice?
I feel like my heart has been ripped out. How did you cope with your emotions while being strong for your children? We have 5 kids together.
Kindness is appreciated. Thank you.
aloha.girl59
Favorite Answer
I'm so sorry Freckles. My husband left me four years ago so I sort of know how you're feeling. It sucks rocks. Get some counseling for yourself and ask him to go with you as well. If he refuses, go anyway. You are going to need the emotional support and a therapist will help you figure out how to rebuild your life...for yourself and your kidlets. My ex-husband is a good guy but was a crappy husband in that he had the fairy tale idea of marriage and family. When things weren't always "Cinderella" for him, he bailed. With luck and therapy, maybe yours will come around to realize he has made a mistake and you two will figure things out. If he doesn't, then -- as difficult as it is to hear -- you're really better off without him. Who wants to be with a man who doesn't want to be with her and their children? You deserve better and if he can't give it to you, then the hell with him.
(((((Freckles)))))
Anonymous
He may just need time away to think about things. I wouldn't think he had someone else just because he left. When he thinks things through he will come home and you guys can talk. You have been together for 15 years and yes it gets rough and we all need time alone. You have five kids together and I'm sure he will not walk away from his family. Give him the time he needs without calling him and asking him back. In the mean time you look after the house and kids as if nothing happened. Wait for him with open arms and let him know how much you missed him when he does come back. Give him a chance to speak his mind, then you can also have your turn. 15 years is a long time to just walk away. Yes you feel like your heart has been ripped out but this is only because you do not know if he is coming back after last night. Take your kids out to the park and have a movie night with them, have the kids help you clean the house and make everything nice for his return, he will be back home before you know it. Enjoy this time alone and do not worry yourself sick about anything. I've been married many years and sh*t happens when we mostly need them by our side but things happen for a reason, not sure why but sometimes we learn from things like this.
BLW_KAM
Oh Freckle Face, I'm so sorry.
When I was at my lowest point, I joined a grieving support group so I could express my emotions in a safe environment. I didn't have to be strong, or mature, or even rational. I came home drained but after each session my heart got a little lighter.
It's too early to know how this is going to go. Perhaps he needs to step away to realize he belongs at home. Maybe he feels lost in all the responsibilities. Perhaps he's having a mid-life crisis and the only way he knows how to cope is to turn tail and run. Only time will tell.
Take a picture of him into a quiet place and say to the picture the things you'd like to say to him. Scream, rant, cry, do whatever is in your heart. Then put the picture away until you need to release the emotions again. It sounds ridiculous, but it's very therapeutic.
A comforting hug is being sent across the miles from my heart to yours.
?
It looks to me that he's watching for approaches to get out, and by way of accusing you of dishonest, then he can go away and not using a responsible sense of right and wrong. I'm so sorry this is occurring to you. Counselling could do a global of well for you although you pass in your possess, however your husband no longer short of to move is not an individual factor- I feel many guys suppose "no person can aid if we can not do it on our possess" or that counselling does not paintings or every other an identical nonsense. Have you regarded into the probability that he's dishonest on you? Accusing you of doing so could lift the primary crimson flags with me! Now is a time to handle your self. Get up every morning and discover whatever well to pay attention to- is the sky lovely at present? Is there a lovely flower external your window? Anything that's constructive for you to pay attention to. If meals may not keep down, be definite to take nutrients and drink tons of water. Lean in your loved ones and peers. Keep your brain busy and be certain you get out and do whatever extraordinary every day although it is only jogging to the grocer or out for a cup of espresso. Remember that what he's doing is all approximately him and his lifestyles, and no longer approximately you. You will make it by way of this, and feel it or no longer, you are going to pop out a much better, more fit, happier individual. *hugs*
snowwillow20
I have been through something similar, we had been married for 9 years and he just didn't think of me as a wife anymore, great, he needed his space, he said there was no one else but I think there was. She probably figured out he was married and had a kid and wanted no part of him.
You can try to work it out but if he doesn't want too then there isn't much you can do.
We have been married for 36 years and they sure haven't all been wonderful or bad.
He should have told you to your face. He is a coward and he is going to find out that the grass is not greener on the other side and he will have to do a lot of mowing if he leaves. That's 5 kids worth of mowing.
My heart goes out to you, some men are just pigs, been there done that.