Same question with disturbing answers suggests that adoptee's should not be told who their parents are because if this promise (I assume) of anonymity were not in place, we surrendering parents would abort instead.
Would you have aborted, if you knew your child would one day look you up?
Anonymous
Favorite Answer
No, I would not have aborted if I knew that my child would one day look me up. I placed her under the assumption that she WOULD know me all along. Of course, little did I know.....open adoption is a bold face lie.
Romany
CONCERN FOR CURRENT AND FUTURE CHILDREN
A KEY REASON WOMEN HAVE ABORTIONS
http://www.guttmacher.org/media/nr/2008/01/07/index.html
"Without being asked directly, several of the women indicated that adoption is not a realistic option for them. They reported that the thought of one’s child being out in the world without knowing if it was being taken care of or by whom would induce more guilt than having an abortion."
Anonymous
No, this is another myth created by the adoption industry. Women who choose abortion do so because they feel they cannot carry a pregnancy to term (for many different reasons). They are typically not even thinking about adoption and reunion. Really, does a woman take a pregnancy test, then suddenly decide she should have an abortion because 20 years later the child might come looking for her? The whole idea is ridiculous.
durdenslabs
Anonymity IS guaranteed. If a child tries to find their birth parents later on, the birth parents have to agree to the contact.
It's absolutely stupid to abort your child because you don't think you can make an informed decision to say "NO" later on.
BOTZ
To the 'headline' question: No. I would never abort for fear of being looked up by my own child. And, just to be clear, I WOULD abort for certain reasons that are mine, and mine alone.
My mother, who carried me and gave me life, never even considered abortion as an option. The only thought she EVER gave to abortion was the fear that if she informed her parents "too early" (her words) in the pregnancy that her father (a doctor) might "do something to the baby" (her words again). She couldn't even bring herself to say the word "abortion" to me... but that was her fear. She stayed completely away from home (never saw her parents even one time) until she was nearly 4 months pregnant with me, showing, and plenty of people knew she was "with child". She feared that her father might kill me but she knew he would not if anyone knew she was pregnant because 1) it was not legal at that time, prior to Roe v. Wade and 2) he was a 'society' man and wanted to protect his own reputation. His reputation is the very reason she feared he would end her pregnancy but not if it would have been known that he "killed the baby".
My mother hoped and prayed that I would want to know her one day. She had vowed (to herself) not to look for me because she didn't want to interfere in my life or cause any problems in my adoptive family. My father also wanted to know me and hoped I would find him. Sadly, he didn't know I was not allowed to have his name and information upon request once I turned 18. He was depressed for nearly 5 years (according to him, his best friend and his current wife) after I became an adult because I didn't "ring up or show up" and he figured I hated him, didn't care to know him, or that my mother or my a-parents had made him out to be a bad man. Both of my parents also worried that I may not have been told I was adopted. Now that they have seen photos of my adoptive parents they know that would have been disastrous and there's no way I would have believed I was their natural child. (LOL!)
Sorry this is long and I got a little sidetracked. *grin*