It just occurred to me this morning that my running martingale is missing. I didn't notice it right away because I don't use it all the time and lately I've just been trail riding western. I saw one of the boarders in the schooling ring with a running martingale on a horse she usually doesn't ride one in. Guess what...I think its mine. I can't be sure without looking at it. Mine has a distinguishing mark on it from when an old horse of mine tried to chew it. I want to confront her without confrontation. How can I do this without making a fool out of myself if its not mine?
Calm Before The Storm2009-06-06T11:21:44Z
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What I'd personally do is: Tell someone that your martingale is missing, tell that particular person that you think ____ is using it (make sure they see the person using it too). When she is done riding and puts it away where she keeps her tack (that is only if she don't bring it with her home or it's not in a locked box) I'd go in there check if it was yours. If it is (Make sure it is def yours!) Tell someone that it's gone missing and if you also have a receipt or a picture of you using it would be better too. Take it back put it in with your stuff put your name on it somewhere that isn't to noticeable!
If she does have a locked box or brings it home confront that person if you want it helps to have another person/friend there with you as someone to back up your word against theirs. Tell them that yours is missing and that you believe that it's theirs and if this person isn't hiding anything they will let you take a look at it. If they don't let you look at it or take it tell management or tell them you are telling management.
I would first report it missing, preferably in writing or via emil to the barn management. You could also file police report, but for an item this small, that might not be taken seriously. In the report, include any identifying marks and anything else that would describe it. Depending on your barn management, you may get some help from them. Once that is done, wait for an opportunity to inspect the one she is using. If you're convinced that it is yours, go to barn management and tell them about it. Next, I would post a notice to boarders to keep an eye out for it, indicating that it is somehow marked for identification. Include that it should be returned to a specific location, no questions asked, and see what happens. Sometimes management will be proactive in aggressively dealing with any barn theft, and issue warnings, etc. If nothing else, if she suddenly stops using it, you will have more evidence that your suspicions are correct. The problem with approaching her directly is that she will undoubtedly deny it, and what can you do then? A mark like you describe is not like fingerprint quality evidence. But by having the description on record with management in advance it lends credibility if you do think it is yours. I think you have a better chance of getting it back by offering an anonymous way out for the thief to return it.
As someone said, try to sneak a peak at it, but first, tell a neutral person, and describe the mark, so that if and when you do identify the martingale as yours, you'll have someone neutral to back you up.
I mark all my tack in a very inconspicuous place with my uniqe logo.
Good luck, and let us know what transpires. I love a mystery solved. . .
Go up to her while she's riding with it, compliment it, ask her where she got it and while you're doing that check to see if it has the mark. If it isn't yours just say something about the place she got it at, "maybe I'll shop there," or "I've been there before, nice place" and then leave.
If it is yours you'll see the mark and she'll probably be hesitant about where she got it, tell her it's yours and you want it back.
walk up to her and nicely and say hey my martingale is missing and i noticed you have one similar to mine. do you think i could look and see if you accidently grabed the wrong one mine has a mark on it from and old horse of mine. or talk to people at the barn and see if they know of anything or saw anything. good luck