My friend judges people who drink alcohol?

Question

So recently I was talking with my friends about hanging out this summer because we all just graduated high school and seeing each other is gonna be limited.  My one friend said that her parents were going to be gone for two days and we could have a party at her house, you know with alcohol and stuff, invite other people, and get drunk.  None of my friends, and including me, have never drank alcohol or got drunk--ever.  We thought this would be a good time to do it when we were all together.  Throughout all our high school life we've been goody-goodies, ok, to put it bluntly--good grades, no discipline stuff, whatever.  But we just want to let loose before college.

So the problem with this situation is one of my friends is really uptight and conservative about drinking.  She basically looks down on anyone who drinks alcohol and gets wasted when their underage.  My friends and I are conflicted about telling her about this party or not.  If we tell her what we plan to do, she will judge us for drinking.  She'll have a completely different outlook on who we are.  If we don't tell her about the party, I think she might get mad that we went behind her back and at least didn't tell her what we're doing.

I don't plan on getting drunk but I do want to drink with my friends.  I want to tell my friend about the party because I don't think we should keep it a secret from her, even if she looks down on it.  I'm afraid if we don't tell her and she finds out she'll get even more angry.  What should I do?

Nona said so · Accepted Answer

Just invite her and tell her what's going to be going on at the party and remind her that nothing about you is going to change just because of a couple of drinks.. but make sure you keep the party small and simple... these things can really get out of hand and that may cause unwanted friction for the rest of the summer...

Come on, you just graduated for Pete's sake.  Don't let her beliefs bring the rest of you down.  

You all sound like responsible adults-to-be and she should take pride in knowing that this is the first time you're all getting drunk...

Tell her to live a little!!  It's summer!!

Anonymous · Answer

Tell her about the party, but don't bring up drinking until she asks. And when she does, you have to show that drinking isn't as big as a deal as she thinks it is. If she gets mad about this, just say that she doesn't have to drink, and that you and your friends aren't planning on getting piss drunk or anything. And honestly, if she gets into an argument with you guys about this, that's very stupid of her because she's the only one who thinks that it's bad? Anyways, have fun and don't drink TOO much, escpecially since it's your first time.

karamell08 · Answer

Be honest. Tell her, cause any other thing you'd be inviting her to. BUT tell her what the plan is. It's up to her to decide whether or not to come. And tell her she can't be Miss Preacher at the party if she does go. She needs to relax and let people do as they choose. If she can't do that, then tell her it may not be her cup of tea, but atleast give her the option of deciding. Friends don't do things behind friends backs. And true friends can be themselves around each other. 
But don't be tooo surprised if she's the one that out does all of you guys! 
OH! And drink water throughout the night. Be careful and try not to overdo it.

Elliot Kane · Answer

Tell her about the party and that there will be alcohol there, but make it clear to her that no-one is going to be pressured into drinking and everyone will be left to their own conscience as to how much they drink - if anything.  Make it clear that you are all just curious rather than intending to begin a life of utter debauchery.

Tell her she's welcome if she wants to come along.

She will probably refuse to be anywhere the place, but she won't think from that that anyone intends to be really irresponsible rather than just a bit silly.

So you get your party, she gets the invite and probably won't be there anyway and you don't have to tell her the gory details.  Everyone wins :)

Good luck!

Rebs · Answer

Tell her about the party, and explain to her that there will be drinking and that you all plan on being safe. Don't Drink And DRIVE! Tell her that you are trying to be honest and if she has a problem she doesn't have to go to the party

My friend judges people who drink alcohol?

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