My boyfriend is jealous and insecure and it might be ruining our relationship?

Sometimes he will snoop through my phone to see who I've been calling or texting. Which is fine with me, I guess. I mean, I have nothing to hide, but it bothers me that he is just so insecure with himself and not trusting of me that he feels the need to do that.
So then after he looks through my phone, he doesn't say anything to me until a few days afterward, when it has had time to fester in his mind that because I texted "Will", that I might also be cheating on him with "Will". And he will have these bad dreams, these awful dreams that I am cheating on him. And after he wakes up, he will be angry towards me for something that he dreamed and never actually happened. Its like he's manifesting these thoughts in his dreams.
And after that is all said and done, he will ask me if everything is alright. Are we doing OK? And lastly, "who is 'Will'? ("Will is a co-worker and friend, nothing else.)
It is very irritating.
I do not think he will cheat on me. I never have. He is the one who always thinks that I am going to cheat, or that I have because I am "just so beautiful". :-/
I have never had a bad dream about him cheating on me. In fact, he is rarely in my dreams, but when he is, its nothing bad.
How do I get my boyfriend of four years to trust me and understand that I am committed 100%, and that if he doesn't get control of himself and his insecurities, this relationship is going to fall to pieces??
help...

2009-06-28T13:42:55Z

He doesn't have his own cell phone. He just sold his car. He doesn't go anywhere! He's a homebody! So, its very unlikely he's cheating on me. He has been cheated on and he is VERY insecure. I just try to reassure him that nothing is going on with me, but he just doesn't get it, i guess.

?2009-06-28T13:31:39Z

Favorite Answer

Wow that's bullshit. You need to talk to him about it. Explain to him that he needs to trust you, and that it worries you that he is so insecure that you will cheat on him. It's something that he needs to work on.

silver2009-06-28T20:37:49Z

Well i was with my boyfriend for 4 years and he was the same and u no what it turned out when he was snooping threw my phone he was hiding his because he was the 1 cheating on he walk out and told me he was going 2 the shop and never come back that was a week ago.Its u that should be thinking whats he at when some 1 is accusing u of something that some 1 at it there selfs

Chocolate In My Pocket2009-06-28T20:32:32Z

Erase the text history on your phone as soon as you are done texting. Also, send yourself a text that says, "I knew you'd check my phone." Are you talking about Will a lot? Your boyfriend is insecure. There's nothing you can do to change it, he has to, if he wants to. It wouldn't hurt for both of you or just you to go to counseling. Don't wait until it gets bad to get out. You can do better. You're already doing worse.

Pinatas = Empty Promises2009-06-28T20:35:13Z

He has major trust issues and seems to be possessive and controlling. There is nothing you can do to help him, he has issues within himself, maybe he was cheated on before. He probably needs help and shouldn't be taking it out on you. Relationships with people like are are no fun, I would tell him to get help and change or leave.