What do yall think of my rap lyrics?

I'm a 18 year old rapper and i just wanna know what you think and what rapper you think i'm like? what do i need to work on? thanks.

Yo I got these twisted rhymes.
I get too lifted at times but the weed helps me to get **** of my mind.
I feel like a maniac on tracks, get ya brain hacked with a axe, leavin bodies in the sacks.
I gotta dispose, drain the blood wit the hose, cannibalism anythin goes.
See the horror in my eyez is this the life that I chose?
Am I a serial killer? well nobody knows.
But if the pills don't start workin you'll find out I suppose.
Keep on harassin me I put more **** up my nose.
Then my temper exploads and then i'm killin you hoes.
Thats how it ****** goes.
I stay intoxicated cause it keeps me medicated.
Cause I will go mad and **** gets real bad.
You wanna kill me? keep talkin your **** and get you and your whores throat slit thats how i'm rollin

Chorus-They want me dead so i better watch my back, I'm choppin of there heads thats how i'm gonna attack, looking over my shoulder everyday i'm gettin colder, the paranoias keepin me alive i'm in the darkness waitin for them to arrive, several ways to kill them I just gotta decide.

I'm sittin in the doctors office hes lookin at me in the strangest of ways.
Can't quite believe what my behaviour displays.
Askin how much canabis I blaze like thats to ****** blame.
Soceity ****** me thats why i'm forcin your mom to suck me.
Call me crazy call me insane no idea the evil thoughts that go on in my brain.
On my last dead body led on the grass, she might fine so before i dispose i quickly stuck it in her ***, i'm suprised that i managed to leak so fast.
If i were you I wouldn't speak so fast cause you could end up in a deadly situation cause I may start to act out my imagination.
You don't really wanna know my fascination.
So I suggest backin the **** up before u know what ya facin.

Chorus-They want me dead so i better watch my back, I'm choppin of there heads thats how i'm gonna attack, looking over my shoulder everyday i'm gettin colder, the paranoias keepin me alive i'm in the darkness waitin for them to arrive, several ways to kill them I just gotta decide.

I'm lookin for the perfect technique.
My thoughts goin crazy to this beat.
Yeah i'm warped just to crazy to defeat.
Tryed to creep up on my in my sleep.
Cryed pain when I let the butcher knife speak.
Cause I've always got one eye peeped.
Sittin in the dark in a blood stained seat.
bodies on the floor i feel death is at my feet.
I smell them rottin away, magoots chewin as they start to decay.
the bodies haunt me and taunt me all night long.
Its all goin on as i'm writin this song.
I hear voices screamin i shouldn't have killed them.
Wakin up from a nightmare sweat on my head i think theres someone there.
I hear people sneakin around cause i'm hearin the sound.
Walkin round in the dark wit my butcher knife cause they wanna put me down.
Voices in my head tellin me that mutha ****** want me dead.
I feel a shiver down my spine, gotta take there lifes before they ****** take mine.

Chorus-They want me dead so i better watch my back, I'm choppin of there heads thats how i'm gonna attack, looking over my shoulder everyday i'm gettin colder, the paranoias keepin me alive i'm in the darkness waitin for them to arrive, several ways to kill them I just gotta decide.

2009-07-12T06:17:34Z

i think i'm kinda like ICP

2009-07-12T07:11:11Z

would it be classed as horrorcore?

Anonymous2009-07-12T06:26:47Z

Favorite Answer

They wouldn't flow right to a beat.

Anonymous2009-07-12T20:32:53Z

4/10

G2009-07-12T13:16:24Z

Dark and grimy. Must be influenced by Esham, Eminem and other juggalos.

Good lyrics tho, 8/10. Some multi thrown in for the mix too. Big ups.

EDIT:
Yea, I saw that in the lyrics. Dark. haha, nice **** tho

Jeffy™ [The Return]2009-07-12T13:28:11Z

Yeah depends on the beat. Watch the flow. Also, you're rhyming style is kinda...basic.


Content wise i like it, but you should try some multi-syllable rhymes.

Listen to G Rap and Rakim for inspiration.

.....2009-07-12T14:17:43Z

6/10 not bad, reminds me of 3am - Eminem

Show more answers (5)