When to tell my friend I'm moving away?(kind of longwinded, sorry)?

I'm about to enter my last year of highschool, the following autumn I am moving to Brooklyn to work full time, and then enroll in the spring term at college. I don't live ridiculously far from NY as it is - an hour and a half(provided traffic isn't retarded).

I've told a select few people about it. Recently, my parents. This is kind of a 'get out or I'm going to go insane and end up homicidal' type of deal, I personally feel like I have no other option other than going somewhere either very far, or very different. So it is definite. The time may change slightly(we're talking give or take a month), but I am 100% positive I am going.

My issue is a few of my close friends. Particularly one. She is perfectly content to stay, is attending local college, and is eager to rent out a place to live with me and a few other people. Obviously, we're different types of people - I'm pretty confident I'd need heavy medication to keep me in the general area any longer than I need to be. She doesn't want to go anywhere - much less a crowded, expensive, dirty city.

She'd be hurt if I just dropped everything and abandoned her and everything - so I've been avoiding the subject, but I know I'll have to tell her sooner or later.

I have a number of OTHER commitments to take care of(I ride and show horses competitively, and own a horse, who's living arrangements I am trying to sort out without selling him - my parents have spent a lot of money, my coach has put in a lot of effort, and she's going to be very disappointed when I tell her I'm going to have to take a long hiatus), and I know I can't just drop everything and run away - but there are so many people and things that I feel obligated to that it's intimidating to think of.

I feel selfish for leaving, but at the same time...whenever my friend talks about 'the future' and I associate it with 'this place', I want to rip my eyes out.


SO. suggestions?

FAT2009-07-14T09:22:59Z

Favorite Answer

It's about you. You need to change your life and they have to accept it. They should only want you to be happy, and the fact that you'll have a job and be going to school, AND be on your own is awesome. Just hope they can see that. Loved ones should understand. People will be hurt and saddened but if doing this is right for you then it's a sacrifice you can make.

Becca2009-07-14T16:23:20Z

tell your friend asap and that it is a good opportunity and you will keep in touch with this person

abusedandhated2009-07-14T16:21:31Z

tell you friend as soon as possible!