How do you answer this question that a child ask . The child was put up for adoption illegal?

The child is 4 now. He asked his father why his other family took him How would they feel if someone took their trees or babies. He also will not sit by black children or mexican children. When asked why said he doesn't like them. I asked who told him it was alright for him to talk or act like that and he told me that the wan ta be adopted couple told him. I tried to explain that god made everyone equal but then he told me that god wasn't real only the heavenly father. My son has been fighting for him since birth. This is not how we raised our children. How do you explain this all to a child. He knows his dad loves him but doesn't understand why. This is the same couple that will not give up for the child and what is best for him.

SJM2009-08-19T14:26:15Z

Favorite Answer

You know, I wouldn't address it directly. I would let that conversation drop, and at a different time, open up a conversation about good guys and bad guys. Four-year-olds see things in very black and white terms--good guys and bad guys. Then I would talk about things good guys do and believe, and things bad guys do and believe. Good guys are nice to people. Bad guys make people feel bad for reasons they can't help.

It may not sink in perfectly at first, but it will sink in.

ETA: Oh, and I would SO tell the judge that his 'psychological parents' are teaching him to discriminate against others based on race and ethnic origins. Even if the judge totally ignores it, I would feel the need to enter that into the official record.

smarmy2009-08-19T13:09:56Z

I had trouble understanding your question too until I took a look at who you are. Your son has been fighting to stop the illegal adoption of HIS son. The perspective adoptive parents know the situation and refuse to return your grandson to your son. I remember you.

IF I had to say something I think I would tell the boy that we would have to agree to disagree on that one. At least it lets him know that people can disagree without arguing.

life is like the ocean2009-08-19T10:55:53Z

I am so sorry that you are still going through this. I can't believe the couple still hasn't returned him, and that they are allowed to pollute this young boys mind in this manner. I have no wise words on how you answer those kinds of questions. These are delicate ones, with underlying issues. I would just follow my heart, and keep fighting for him, and showing him by example. Do not talk down about the adoptive wannabes. That is who he is emulating, and knows, and yes.....even loves. Just keep showing him a better way....consistently...with love. He is young, and you can lead by example.

Once again, so sorry. This has to be a nightmare for you. Best of luck.

Anonymous2009-08-19T11:19:11Z

It sounds like you're going through a rough time with this but I don't really understand your question. It's not very cohesive. Maybe if you clarified we could help you better.

Christabell2009-08-19T10:40:57Z

This seems like a terrible example of a hypothetical question and so, uhm, yeah. No.