I'm 15 & she's 16.We've been friends since we were in like.....3rd grade!
We've been saying all these years that we are best friends,& i feel like i don't really mean it.
I want to tell her the truth,but i don't want to hurt her!!!
Should i tell her the truth?
& I don't want to keep lying to her & everyone we tell that to!!!!!
It kills me to lie straight to her face!!!!!
Alex
Favorite Answer
Friendship is a funny thing, we hold so tightly to this idea that only one person can be your “BEST” friend. And that friendships are forever. The 3rd grade is a very long time, and the two of you are growing at different paces and directions. And sometimes long friendships like yours fade into nothing but a good memory, and sometimes they just part ways for just a wile giving one person the chance to catch up.
Also this word “Best friend” It is not necessarily executive. I have a dear friend from Turkey, who says that I am her best friend in all of the world because I was her first friend in America. But she is not that one person I turn to when I need a shoulder to cry on. She would be maybe the 3rd or the 4th in that line. But that dose not mean that I am not her best friend, just because she is not mine.
I think what you need to ask yourself is are you still friends? Do you want to stay friends? If the answer is yes, then I see no need to tell her how you feel, the only purpose it would serve is to make you feel better. Because she is saying you are the one person she counts on. And you need to remember that as the two of you move through life, You are her person, even if she is not yours. Now if you don’t want to be her person anymore, then be prepared that the friendship will most likely end and you will hurt her, there is no way around that.
If you truly feel that you can not rest until you tell her she is no longer your Best friend, Then make sure you replace it with her own special title, Say something like “ Dianna you are my oldest and dearest friend, you know more about be then anyone in this world, and nothing and no one can take that away from us. So if you hear me call Allie , my Best friend, I don’t want you to get hurt or think that she has taken your place, no one can do that, its just that I am really close to her and it seems silly to say you’re my 2nd best friend.”
?
You have outgrown the friendship. It happens every single day. You have different thoughts and interests since you and she became friends; it's a natural thing. It's called growing up.
You're not a little girl anymore and neither is she. Which brings me to the first question: how do you know she doesn't feel the same? She may have outgrown you; find out if this is true.
Have a heart to heart; ask her how she feels about you, honestly and truthfully. Don't tell her you don't think she's your best friend, (NO!) but talk to her about how you've changed and how she's changed too over the years. Talk about what a best friend is, and be honest about what you think a best friend should be.
It just may be time to re-negotiate the terms of the friendship, that's all. Find out where you are with her and start negotiating new terms. She'll either agree or she won't, either way when this happens you can proceed and expand your friendship horizons without feeling guilty about not ever having talked it out.
Everything is negotiable. That's all life is about.
Good luck.
sweetiepie
omg im in the same situation right now. I have known this one girl for three years and she thinks im her best friend. She put it on her myspace that i am and that i know her very well and all this stuff. The thing is i dont feel like her bestfriend really. She barely texts me and she talks to her other friend a lot more than me? So its weird. And also i have another girl that thinks i am her bestfriend. I met her about 2 years ago and the girl just automatically thinks that just because i was one of the few people at the school who was nice to her that i am her bestfriend. She also put it on her myspace and calls me her bestfriend all the time and sais i love you bestfriend. I dont know what i would do without you, you mean the world to me i love you bestfriend. God it gets so annnoying. So i have two friends that think i am their bestest friend when in reality were not at all. I plan on telling both of them the truth this year because really i dont want to be either one of thems bestfriends :( its sad but true i think you should tell your friend the truth too.
Amy D
I say not to tell the truth and here is my reason why. I have about 4 people who call me there best friend I only call on of them my best friend and thats the person i have been friends with sense we where both 5 years old about 22 years i've known her and we have been threw a whole lot togthere and she truly is my best friend to me. Now the other three i'am close to them too but i do not think of them how i do my best friend but they still call me there best friend tho and i dont mind it at all but i would never tell them not to call me there best friend it would just hurt them and there is no point in hurting someone for something that little anyways. And besides you really can have more then one best friend anyways.
lookn4ans.
Tell her the truth--Do you wanrt to keep feeling like a liar??? Of course not--so tell her you feel more like family than best friends-then move on from there. You have to realize that a lie no matter how much you try to sugar coat it --it is still going to be a lie and guess what you tell the truth and you will be so free. If you lose a friend at least you'll gain your conscience back.